Reinventing Yourself: Attaining Inner Calm

Imagine for a moment that you are staring at a painting from up close. If it were a landscape rendition you would probably see minute details such as blades of grass or boughs of trees precariously hiding a nest or two. You see how each detail plays a part in portrait. However, if you take a few steps back and look at the whole painting in perspective you'll see that you can no longer appreciate the minor details as you would have before, but, rather, have a keener sense of understanding how each contributes to the whole portrait or theme portrayed by the painting. Now, imagine if it was YOUR life portrayed in that painting and it was you who was looking at it from at close and from afar. Do you see the difference? Can you honestly say that there is harmony and fluidity in it?

They say everything is a matter of perspective. How you perceive, process,and react to certain aspects or events in your life ultimately defines who you are, essentially. I think that's not true. Yes, everything can be seen from a perspective or any perspective, for that matter,  but the true power lies in our ability to choose. It is the power of CHOICE which defines us. It is the one true thing which ultimately dictates our actions.  More importantly, our choices are the road maps which gives our life direction.

Amid the hubbub of daily living there arises a need, eventually in all of us, to be able to stop for a minute, take a deep breath, assess or reassess our bearings, and forge ahead. It is during these times when you need to find your inner calm, your quiet moment of peace. It is when we hurry through life that everything seems a blur, leaving us questioning, if not wondering, at times, if we could have done better. Well, as all eventualities, the outcome is a result of two things, really; what we set out to do and what we actually do. The choices we make defines the paths we take in life.

The key ingredient to make wise, informative,and better decision making lies in one's ability to remain calm. To be able to assess any situation from the placid to the gravid or to even the lucid depends entirely on a firm composure and an open mind. Inner calm or inner peace, if you want to call it that, can only be attained if we realize this truth: how we see and interpret events in our lives dictate our reaction(s) to them. What I mean by this is we don't necessarily need to be controlled by life's problems or challenges, we can take control by dealing with them directly, neglecting them altogether, or choosing to deal with them at a later time. In other words, we need to be in control of life's stressors. Mind you, many things in life stresses us and they can run the gamut of from the most mundane and heedless worries to the most life-threatening situations and anything imaginable in between. One thing remains the same regardless of what faces you, you need to convert whatever input you gather from the situation into a decisive plan of action.

The question remains, then, and as with my other posts, the how-to's are the gist of it all, is how do we attain inner calm? First and foremost on this short but rather How-To list is learning how to relax. Well, ok, let's make a quick rundown and cover the finer points in detail later.

How To Achieve Inner Calm

1. Relaxation is Key

2. Open Mindedness

3. Eliminate Stress and Stressors

4. Proximity and Relativity

5. Be Like Water

Lean to relax. Relaxation is not just sitting around sippin' your favorite concoction, no, far from that. Relaxation must entail not just physical rest but emotional, spiritual, and mental, as well. In other words, you have to view relaxation in a whole different light, from a holistic approach. Deep breathing exercises in slow but constant rhythm allows your cardiac rate to slow down and be regulated. The role of relaxation in achieving inner calm is that it prepares you for the next subsequent phases.

Open your mind to any and all possibility. Lose your standards. Know that in this vast world full of rich and vibrant life and cultures, you are essentially naive and ignorant to anything beyond your zones of familiarity. With an open mind acceptance becomes easy and second nature. It is when we accept that we essentially say we are committed to THAT particular truth. Having an open mind allows us to view options and choices not in the context of preference but in their value in finding solutions to a problem or situation.

Eliminate stress and stressors in your life. I have covered this point repeatedly in my previous posts and stated clearly how stress is unhealthy and may even cause disease. Know, however, that anticipation is, in and of itself, a stressor as well. When we know something bad is going to happen and know that it will happen and we wait for it to happen, well, we are causing ourselves undue stress. 

Proximity and Relativity has something to do with the way you perceive events and situations in your everyday life and how you assign value to them. Are they in your priority lists or are they not? When you assign a level of importance or value to something it causes you a lot of pain and discomfort when you are in discord with it or if when you have no control over it or even if you lose it. Let's take for instance a mundane everyday happenstance such as leaving at 6:30 in the morning in order to get to work by 7:30. Imagine the stress you will be experiencing if you had to leave, say, 7:05? This example cites a common problem we encounter daily: our relationship with time. 

Lastly, go thru life like water. Overcome your obstacles not by knocking them down, but going over them, going around them,wearing them down with the power of your will and your resolve. You have in you infinite strength you just don't realize or maybe even accept it. Flow in your everyday life. Don't flow like a raging pipeline in Hawaii but rater, like a quiet mid-autumn spring, slow but with constancy and clarity. Know that whatever comes your way, you are prepared for it, and you will overcome, just as you have in the past, and just as you will, again and again and again. You will realize that your only real true enemy in the end is yourself, for your lack of faith, trust, and belief in yourself. Flow like water. Gently and surely. Until our next post, folks. Take care and love one another. 

The Power of Decisive Action

What's stopping you or most people from doing what you've always wanted to do in  life? It can be anything, really, but let's cite a realistic example for argument's sake. Losing weight, for instance. Why is it so hard to begin and harder still to finish anything that is worth undertaking? Why do most people FAIL to succeed? A lot of questions but not a whole lot of answers. Let's digress for a minute on a simple thought; the power to put words into action. Let's take that notion one notch higher by stating the power of taking Decisive Action. What is decisive action? It is action which is done with complete commitment and vindiction in order to see completion or fruition of a certain desire or need.

In order for us to understand why we fail in implementing worthwhile changes in our everyday lives let's understand one fundamental human behavior: change is often times painful and there is comfort in staying the same not straying too far from comfort zones even if it meant having to do so is essential for personal growth. Why is that you ask? Well, it's simple, really- we are afraid of the unknown, of uncertainty, and of taking risks. Our desire to live a healthier and longer life, for instance, is greatly hampered by our lack of motivation and fear of not succeeding. What are we afraid of? Failure, for one, but there are other factors which we put stress and emphasis in avoiding as well. Let's enumerate those "other" factors now:

1. We are afraid to change or try something new because we essentially underestimate our potentials.
2. We are afraid because we don't want to commit ourselves into something which has no known guarantees
     besides the fact that normalcy will take a backseat from now on.
3. We are afraid too change because we don't want to be stereotyped by anyone's standards.
4. We are afraid to change because having to begin again takes too much time and effort on our part.
5. We are afraid to change because we cater to the notion that people should respect our individuality and
     that our imperfections define who we are.

Do any of the top 5 statements sound familiar to you? It should because they pertain to all of us. While they may be true on some regards, it all depends by what we mean by "changing". In essence, what is CHANGE? Know that we act upon a certain need or desire based on two different principles. If something causes us pain, we veer away from the cause or avoid it altogether. If something brings us pleasure we strive towards a certain goal which allows this pleasurable feeling to be experienced time and again. There is no other given set of stimuli which clearly defines our need to take action than the two previously mentioned. However, as we grow and acquire maturity ( physical, emotional, spiritual), we have clearly defined a given set of standards or set of rules which dictate how and what we should do in times of struggle,pain, or even joy. What I am saying here is that we have closed our minds to the possibility ( which is more likely than unlikely) that as we face life's challenges there will be an inherent NEED to RESET our standards and change towards adaptability.  But what does all of these have to do with the ability to take decisive action? Simple. By having an open mind, we can assess a given situation, or any situation, for that matter, as they are, free of our stereotypes and ideals, and act upon them properly.

Now let's put the power of decisive action to the test on a real world case scenario. Let's take my example above. Say you are OVERWEIGHT. You are about 15-30% above your ideal weight as dictated by your BMI (Body Mass Index). You know that you are not alone since a lot of americans are also overweight, if not more so than you. So what do you do? You tried dieting, of course, and even tried walking around the block several times every morning to get your heart rate and metabolism up so you can burn your calories more efficiently. You even tried herbal solutions such as slimming teas and dietary supplements to help you win your war against fat. You tried surfing the web to get a better gauge of what your lipid profile and blood sugar should be. You may have even given up smoking and other vices which are known risk factors for lifestyle diseases. Then you ask yourself the most important question after several years of these-why aren't you losing weight? Where did you go wrong since you've tried them all? There is no one correct answer to that question so instead of running around trying to find an explanation, any explanation, let's construct a plan of action which you can implement daily. Make it routine until it becomes a habit, and only then will it be second nature to you. So here are The 7 Steps to Taking Decisive Action.

1. Stop blaming yourself. Give in to the fact that you are not perfect and never will be. Understand that you
    have limits to what you can accomplish but there is no limit in what you can try. Don't blame yourself for
    past failures because you aren't the only one who didn't finish a race.

2. Reassess what your goals are and remap the necessary actions you need to take on a daily basis in order
    to reach that goal. Don't make it lofty. Instead keep it realistic.

3. Understand the fact that you cannot do this alone. You need emotional encouragement and motivation
    from the people you love. By giving you support you have with you at all times a reason why you should
    see things through.

4. Accept the fact that at times you will fail. See failure in a different light. Instead of seeing it as an end see it
    as an opportunity to learn, to reset your learning curves.

5. When the opportunity presents itself or if a need arises ACT immediately and without hesitation. DO
    NOT BE AFRAID. Stand your ground and face the challenge head on. Make decisions and take actions
    with surgical precision. Do not set any given plan in stone. Learn to make necessary changes along the
    way to adapt to any unforeseen circumstances.

Let's answer the question of why we fail. Did we lack planning? Maybe effort or even commitment? Maybe all of the above but that's not really important. It is how we stand up after each fall that counts. We fail because we are human beings. We try, we fail, we learn, and we try again, until we succeed. It's just the way things are. So don't despair. It isn't the end of the world. Learn from your experience and assess what needs to be done the second time around. Once you see that golden window of opportunity take decisive action towards it. Make your move and reap your reward. It's been a long time coming, anyhow. Take care guys. Know that you are never alone in this game of life. This is JowelMD, and once again, signing off, but not signing out.

A World Without Love

     Imagine a world without emotions where even the everyday happenstances that comprise our lives seem as grey and desolate as the skies. Imagine a world where emptiness reigns supreme and nothing is of value not even our very own feeble existance. We can't live in a world like that. Our humanity ( and maybe even our sanity) will very likely be lost. And yet, when we really stop and think about our very own limited time here on Earth, the question begs to be asked why are we not happy? Maybe I should rephrase that into something more tangible. If you know you were to die tomorrow, how would you like to live TODAY? I can   see the gears in your mind turning now, fathoming the endless " Things I need to do" items in your last and final list. Ever wondered why adventurers( or daredevils, for that matter) live for that split second instant which can dictate life or death? It's because only when they cheat death do they feel truly alive. I know you know that nobody in their right mind wanted to feel alive THAT way and everyday of that sort of encounter can drive anybody to a psyche ward anywhere. There is, however, a better way to live a long and contented life. And it starts NOW.

     We are not trivial beings. You can bet almost anything that the things that make you laugh or cry isn't that much different from what makes another individual laugh or cry from a different corner of the world. The point I am driving us is we have SIMILAR NEEDS,no matter what our race, color, or creed maybe. We are not unique in that our standards may be higher or that our statures or professions dictate that we remain special or separated. That is not even important because all that really matters is the legacy we will be leaving behind. How is it that a CEO from a Fortune 500 company be any different from that of a shoe cobbler who takes pride in his work on some alley way in India. Money changes our perspectives in life and it clouds us into believing that our very existance depends on money. Remember that each second which comprises our lives will never be returned to us. We will watch and learn as we grow old, fading into the distance, awaiting our turn to finally becoming one with our maker. That is a fact of life. Time takes away everything, even memories. So how do we start living life to the fullest when we don't even know how or where to begin? The answer is really very simple but it eludes us to the point where we don't really see it or recognize it anymore. So here it is:

LOVE MORE  

     Love more. Just two words but with infinite meaning. How does one love more? Start by loving the people you already love. Words are hollow without action to back them up. When you love somebody,SAY SO AND PROVE SO. In order to reach a higher level or plane of understanding how love really makes the world go 'round there are several plans of action you need to practice on a daily basis until they become habitual. Only when you pass this primary challenge can you progress further. The feeling is indescribable. Only when you GET THERE will you TRULY UNDERSTAND. Here are the things you need to do:

1. Remain CALM at all times

2. Understand FIRST before you speak.

3. Listen with Patience and Earnest.

4. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

5. Learn to Overlook Imperfection

6. Don't take ANYBODY for granted.

7. Practice a different act of selflessness daily.

8. Share your blessings

9. Keep an OPEN MIND

10. Believe in what only YOU CAN do 

11. Learn to LET GO of PAIN and REMORSE

12. Regret NOTHING

What do the 12 things listed above actually prepare you for, you say? Why don't I leave it at that and you can tell me later how you cope with each of them above. Not easy, these 12, but when you take the time to contemplate on how they can change your life, you'll begin to understand that it's so much more than just simply acquiring a different perspective. It's more of about opening your heart to love. Only when you receive love can you share it or even begin to understand it. So, good luck with your journey ahead and remember that whichever way the road may fork, you are never alone. Someone out there always holds you near and dear to their hearts. It's time you do the same for them. Thank you for spending some of your time and for giving me the opportunity to share with you. We can only journey through this life once and it doesn't make sense travelling alone. JowelMD signing out but not signing off.