Why is it so hard for most of us to forgive? Maybe I should ask why is it so hard for us to ask for forgiveness? I mean let's face it folks, none of us want to admit we are wrong but we always make it a point to point out the wrongs of others. The fact is it takes A LOT to say you are sorry but it takes A WHOLE LOT MORE to forgive someone for it. You ever wonder why? Is it just human nature, you think?
The truth is no one really wants to admit they are wrong, even to themselves. They will put the blame on somebody else's fault but not theirs. Let me ask you this, which do you think is harder for you; saying that you are sorry or granting someone pardon for their mistakes, i.e. accepting their apology?
Forgiving or forgiveness in general says a lot of a person's character, really. Remember this; when you forgive, you, in return, are also forgiven. Now what does this mean to you, in particular, you may ask? We all make mistakes. Admitting our mistakes is the first step. This it turns out is perhaps the hardest of the 5 steps because it would take some humility on your part and a degree of willingness to change. It's always difficult to admit that you are wrong but you will be appreciated more when you do. When you say you are sorry give a reason why, don't just say, " I'm sorry", and leave it at that. Let's take, for example, a scenario where you have hurt your best friend. This is the ideal way to say that you are sorry.." I am sorry I hurt you. It wasn't my intention to do so. I was selfish (maybe you were), and I should have known better. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.". When you are honest and sincere enough, they will feel your apology.
The second step is working towards a feasible solution. You may not always like what that solution maybe even if it's for the "common good". This step will test your ability to compromise; to give and take. It takes some communicating on your part as well as in the part of the other person involved. Don't dig up old pains. Leave them behind. Remember you are working for a better jumpstart in your relationship. Talk about what you both can do to make your relationship work. No it isn't just patch up and make up. Lay your cards on the table and talk about your issues. Tell the other person how you really feel and listen to how they feel as well. Don't take any issue for granted or even as a silly one. It may feel silly to you but if it hurts them then it must have some importance to them.
The third and perhaps the most important step is closure. When you forgive someone its completely, not halfway through. What I mean by that is learn how to forget. Yes, forget. It is easier to forgive than forget sometimes but if you really meant to forgive then this is a non-issue. The reason why it's hard for us to forget is that we associate pain to that experience and whenever it's remembered, so is the pain. This takes time, of course. It's true when they say time takes away all things, even memory.
The fourth step is application. What have you learned from such an experience? Certainly, you may have discovered that we, as people in general, are really vulnerable to emotional insult. What's more we tend to avoid circumstances which may be a prelude to yet another repeat performance of having to say that you are sorry or having to accept someone else's apology, especially if the same issues are involved. Remember though that every experience in life, whether its pleasurable or painful, is a learning curve. I don't want you to think that you are weak when you say you are sorry whenever you commit a mistake. On the contrary, it in fact is a sign of strength in character and sound principles.
The fifth step is the more committed step because it involves change. You obviously had to change something to set things right and you obviously must maintain this change to keep things right. Once you have admitted your mistakes, resolved your issues, and worked towards a solution, the last thing to do is change towards maintaining what you have worked so hard together to achieve.
So, the 5 steps of Forgiving are;
1. Admit that you are wrong
2. Work your Issues out. Talk about feasible solutions
3. Closure
4. Apply what you have learned
5. Commitment to change.
So there you have it folks. Do take care and love one another. Until our next post...
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
When Words Fail
How do you describe happiness If you feel better today can that elated feeling carry you through tomorrow,the next day and the next? How does one describe contentment when rare are the occasions when it is actually felt and appreciated.I guess what I am trying to ask you is are you happy? Be honest. Making do is not the same as being happy, it never was and it never will. To some people happiness is an ideal that must be pursued, a state of being that essentially completes them. Well, yes and no. Happiness is a feeling. It's a gauge which tells you you are essentially in the right path, that you are in good hands, and that you are loved. How does one arrive at being happy then? Do we simply decide one Tuesday morning after an awful Monday that we are simply going to be happy the rest of the week? If it were that simple, pharmaceutical companies making anti-depressants would be out of business in no time at all. All wars would end and the world would be a peaceful and happy place to live in. If it were only true.
The reason why most, if not all, of us are never contented is because we are hardly ever satisfied with what we have. The yearning to be more, to have more, and to do more drives us in a restless state of apprehension. We just want more of our desires be fulfilled and we want it now and fast. Now therein lies the ordeal of human nature as we spiral down this path.If you have a family remember the day your first child was born? Words fail you do they not? That indescribable feeling just takes over you and there are no words, no words at all, to describe how you've felt that day. Do you remember? Of course you do. THAT is happiness. Why would it not be worth it then to want to feel like that everyday, to feel blessed beyond your dreams, to feel complete? It's worth it and it's worth all of it.
Here are some Golden Rules on being happy:
Identify what your needs and desires are and draw the line between the two. Know what your basic fundamental needs are and what you deem to be commodities.
Don't make a habit of keeping your expectations too high. Aim high but be realistic with your expected results. If you keep them lofty most of the time you'd have to plan ahead in case of disappointments.
Learn how to accept and make do with what you have. What's in front of you is more real and tangible than what you can ever expect to have.
Practice patience. Know that being patient will yield more results than fumbling blindly into things.
Be humble at all times. Let people discover what you are about instead of broadcasting to the world and fail to deliver.
Stay away from negative people because negative people don't live very long.
Develop an open mind.
Never lash out in anger.
Nurture your relationships with other people and do play your part. Never promise what you can't deliver because losing someone's trust creates tension and basically says you are insensitive to other people's needs as well.
Be kind always.
Don't be afraid to say that you are sorry when you slight someone. Admitting your mistakes says a ton about your character. Remember that pride can only take you so far.
Be positive at all times.
Love more.
If you think about what you lack in your life and what you have try to assess what each means to you. What's more real? Work with what you have, That way you will develop a deeper appreciation of the many things that comprise your life. Be happy because you are blessed more than you know. Be happy because you are loved. Be happy because you love. If you keep this in mind you'll feel better today and everyday. Until our next post then...do take care and be kind to one another. Thank you for your time.
The reason why most, if not all, of us are never contented is because we are hardly ever satisfied with what we have. The yearning to be more, to have more, and to do more drives us in a restless state of apprehension. We just want more of our desires be fulfilled and we want it now and fast. Now therein lies the ordeal of human nature as we spiral down this path.If you have a family remember the day your first child was born? Words fail you do they not? That indescribable feeling just takes over you and there are no words, no words at all, to describe how you've felt that day. Do you remember? Of course you do. THAT is happiness. Why would it not be worth it then to want to feel like that everyday, to feel blessed beyond your dreams, to feel complete? It's worth it and it's worth all of it.
Here are some Golden Rules on being happy:
Identify what your needs and desires are and draw the line between the two. Know what your basic fundamental needs are and what you deem to be commodities.
Don't make a habit of keeping your expectations too high. Aim high but be realistic with your expected results. If you keep them lofty most of the time you'd have to plan ahead in case of disappointments.
Learn how to accept and make do with what you have. What's in front of you is more real and tangible than what you can ever expect to have.
Practice patience. Know that being patient will yield more results than fumbling blindly into things.
Be humble at all times. Let people discover what you are about instead of broadcasting to the world and fail to deliver.
Stay away from negative people because negative people don't live very long.
Develop an open mind.
Never lash out in anger.
Nurture your relationships with other people and do play your part. Never promise what you can't deliver because losing someone's trust creates tension and basically says you are insensitive to other people's needs as well.
Be kind always.
Don't be afraid to say that you are sorry when you slight someone. Admitting your mistakes says a ton about your character. Remember that pride can only take you so far.
Be positive at all times.
Love more.
If you think about what you lack in your life and what you have try to assess what each means to you. What's more real? Work with what you have, That way you will develop a deeper appreciation of the many things that comprise your life. Be happy because you are blessed more than you know. Be happy because you are loved. Be happy because you love. If you keep this in mind you'll feel better today and everyday. Until our next post then...do take care and be kind to one another. Thank you for your time.
How to be more Productive
A lot of people mistake productivity with creativity. Being productive can also mean having conscious control over your resources so that they are more readily available when the need arises. If you are an artist but hadn't painted in years you are creative by nature, but not productive presently. You get the picture.One aspect of productivity has to do with managing and making the most of your time.We always complain that there isn't enough time for anything but we fail to take into account the many hours we spend in idle anticipation, waiting for something to happen, anything in fact. Being productive means also being proactive and not just with your time, mind you.What if you ended your day laying in your bed knowing today was a blast. It was productive, you've done and completed all that you've set out to do. Say you are in bed now with a smile and earnestly planning how to make tomorrow better because you felt good about today. In a sense, you've become productive and unleashed a potential you didn't know you had. What if for instance you felt that today was a total disappointment because nothing ever went right and you were late for almost all your appointments and your car had to break down in the middle of 4 p.m. traffic in Interstate 805. I mean let's face it folks THIS CAN HAPPEN to you and in more than one occassion. See setbacks like these as mere challenges, as a way life tests your mettle. I mean it could have been worse right? I sometimes expect the worst so my surprises are pleasent ones. What I am trying to drive at is IT'S ALL ABOUT PERSPECTIVE. Why ruin a perfectly good day especially when you woke up feeling good about it.
Well, as before, being productive requires careful planning as well as identifying ( and nurturing) key qualities which you need. Plan ahead. Plan for a backup plan and a contingency plan should your backup plan fail too. Organize your activities into sets of time. Don't say, " Today I'll mow the lawn.". Instead, say, " Today, I'll mow the lawn before 10 a.m.." Do you see the difference? You were specific on the second statement but on the former what you actually meant was ," Today, I'll mow the lawn at my leisure and convenience." The right mindset changes everything. Set your goals in small increments towards a larger goal. This takes away most of the pressure brought about by time constraint. Be flexible with your time but be aware where you take off and where you add to. Be mindful of your time as well as that of others. If what you set out to do today couldn't be finished then finish something else (which, in most cases, was something you've put off since who knows when anyway). I never make a schedule planner of daily events because they tend to be stress inducing. You open yours and see which schedules and appointments you have to move to another date because you didn't have enough time. Always take into account the "in-betweens". For example your commute to another appointment you presume would take you a good 30 minutes; Then make that 45 minutes and say you needed the extra 15 minutes to freshen up. I know we don't always have this commodity but making your day less stressful makes you more productive and proactive.
Set your goals in time increments. What do you plan to accomplish today? What do you plan to accomplish tomorrow? In a week's time? In a month? In the near future? In the long run? You get the drift. Write down what your goal needs to see completion. Make a list of several key areas you need to address and give each area a realistic time frame by which you plan to accomplish it. Don't cut corners and don't compromise by taking risks. You'll only slow down and be really familiar with the column you'll have to write down called , " Reformulate your plan". Lastly, try to be more positive in all that you do. Don't lose your cool. Forge ahead and if you need to take the long way out to see today through completion then do so. You'll feel better knowing you've done what most people would have given up on. Until our next post, folks...do take care and thanks again for your time.
Well, as before, being productive requires careful planning as well as identifying ( and nurturing) key qualities which you need. Plan ahead. Plan for a backup plan and a contingency plan should your backup plan fail too. Organize your activities into sets of time. Don't say, " Today I'll mow the lawn.". Instead, say, " Today, I'll mow the lawn before 10 a.m.." Do you see the difference? You were specific on the second statement but on the former what you actually meant was ," Today, I'll mow the lawn at my leisure and convenience." The right mindset changes everything. Set your goals in small increments towards a larger goal. This takes away most of the pressure brought about by time constraint. Be flexible with your time but be aware where you take off and where you add to. Be mindful of your time as well as that of others. If what you set out to do today couldn't be finished then finish something else (which, in most cases, was something you've put off since who knows when anyway). I never make a schedule planner of daily events because they tend to be stress inducing. You open yours and see which schedules and appointments you have to move to another date because you didn't have enough time. Always take into account the "in-betweens". For example your commute to another appointment you presume would take you a good 30 minutes; Then make that 45 minutes and say you needed the extra 15 minutes to freshen up. I know we don't always have this commodity but making your day less stressful makes you more productive and proactive.
Set your goals in time increments. What do you plan to accomplish today? What do you plan to accomplish tomorrow? In a week's time? In a month? In the near future? In the long run? You get the drift. Write down what your goal needs to see completion. Make a list of several key areas you need to address and give each area a realistic time frame by which you plan to accomplish it. Don't cut corners and don't compromise by taking risks. You'll only slow down and be really familiar with the column you'll have to write down called , " Reformulate your plan". Lastly, try to be more positive in all that you do. Don't lose your cool. Forge ahead and if you need to take the long way out to see today through completion then do so. You'll feel better knowing you've done what most people would have given up on. Until our next post, folks...do take care and thanks again for your time.
Dreamers in Dreamland
Do you remember how it feels like to dream? To forget the moment and ponder on the possibilities, the "what if's"? A lot of us lose our sense of adventure as we are stuck with our lives.With this we also lose the power of dreams. Of course we still hold on to our little wish list followed by "someday...". The truth is we only have a vague idea of the power of dreams. You see in dreaming we project a subconscious desire for something, a yearning if you will. We suppress this for fear of losing the reality we have come to accept. As I mentioned in one my previous posts there is comfort in staying within our set boundaries, our states of conditions. We are afraid to pursue the dreams that we often keep to ourselves for fear of failing. That and being ridiculed. So we go on dreaming, wishing for something new, hoping against all hope that somehow we will find that elusive pot of gold at the end of some rainbow.
Have you ever stopped to imagine that the world we live in today with technologies abound, in the name of making our lives easier, started as ideas, as dreams pursued by mavericks. Yes, that is the truth. People you have read about and heard of were once ridiculed for their "silly" ideas but imagine how our world would be like if Henry Ford hadn't mass produced automobiles and made them available for the working man or if Jonas Salk hadn't discovered the polio vaccine in Medicine.Imagine if these people hadn't dreamt of a better world, where would we be now? Plan,plan,plan. Make note of each step and the mini-steps (if any) contained in each and write them down. Set realistic goals towards each step in terms of their completion as well as the time frame by which you set. Don't be too hard on yourself. You can only do so much at any given one time. Be resourceful and give a helping hand once in a while to someone in need. You'll never know what they can offer you in your quest.
Keep your dreams alive by making each day a step towards their realization. Make small steps each day. Don't give up in the face of adversary and difficulty. Make small steps and plan them wisely. Nothing ever worth attaining in this life can be had in a day's time. It takes time to work at what you aspire to have or to be. Give yourself a boost when necessary and do away with negativity. In the same regard stay away from negative individuals.Associate yourself with people who you know have a positive contribution to your aspirations. Always forge ahead. Never slow down and if you have to that is only to rethink your strategies, to reformulate your plan. Lastly, always practice humility. Give people credit where and when credit is due. Give more of yourself and be unselfish with your qualities and talents. When you invest in people you get a whole lot back. Practice kindness and try to be more understanding of other people's feelings. Remember that they are individuals too. If you develop this character and acquire the needed mindset then your dreams will be realities. In the process, feel good about yourself and feel better today. Others will too. Until our next post...take care of yourselves and keep your dreams alive. Don't waste this life of which you have only one. Thank you.
Have you ever stopped to imagine that the world we live in today with technologies abound, in the name of making our lives easier, started as ideas, as dreams pursued by mavericks. Yes, that is the truth. People you have read about and heard of were once ridiculed for their "silly" ideas but imagine how our world would be like if Henry Ford hadn't mass produced automobiles and made them available for the working man or if Jonas Salk hadn't discovered the polio vaccine in Medicine.Imagine if these people hadn't dreamt of a better world, where would we be now? Plan,plan,plan. Make note of each step and the mini-steps (if any) contained in each and write them down. Set realistic goals towards each step in terms of their completion as well as the time frame by which you set. Don't be too hard on yourself. You can only do so much at any given one time. Be resourceful and give a helping hand once in a while to someone in need. You'll never know what they can offer you in your quest.
Keep your dreams alive by making each day a step towards their realization. Make small steps each day. Don't give up in the face of adversary and difficulty. Make small steps and plan them wisely. Nothing ever worth attaining in this life can be had in a day's time. It takes time to work at what you aspire to have or to be. Give yourself a boost when necessary and do away with negativity. In the same regard stay away from negative individuals.Associate yourself with people who you know have a positive contribution to your aspirations. Always forge ahead. Never slow down and if you have to that is only to rethink your strategies, to reformulate your plan. Lastly, always practice humility. Give people credit where and when credit is due. Give more of yourself and be unselfish with your qualities and talents. When you invest in people you get a whole lot back. Practice kindness and try to be more understanding of other people's feelings. Remember that they are individuals too. If you develop this character and acquire the needed mindset then your dreams will be realities. In the process, feel good about yourself and feel better today. Others will too. Until our next post...take care of yourselves and keep your dreams alive. Don't waste this life of which you have only one. Thank you.
Yes, No, then again Maybe
Life is about choices. We make our decisions based on the choices that are made available to us. It can be as mundane as what color suits you or even profound like if he or she is the one for you. Of course there are times when necessary risks must be made, no matter how calculated they may seem to appear, in order to move forward, to get ahead. What makes you decide? Perhaps I should pose the question more appropriately by asking what factors or issues do you address when you decide upon a choice, especially one that will have a considerable effect in your life. First, some rundown on the basics.There are two ends of a spectrum which compels us to act on or respond to a given stimuli. Those that inflict pain and those that yield pleasure. We tend to veer away from the former and aim towards the latter. Some of our indecisiveness is due to the fact that we have a rather vague grasp on our choices. We take risks which we often call leaps of faith and ask lady luck to deal us a winning hand.Of course you know that we are about 50% right in our choices with all things considered being even.But asking to make a choice is like being asked a question and how well you answer that depends on your knowledge on the subject in question. What you need to reflect on is how will your priorities change or more importantly how will they be affected when you choose to decide upon a choice over another. For example, you had a rather large promotion at work but it would mean you would have to do more traveling or even move out to a different locale. Of course you would either move your family with you if you are married or leave them behind and hope you would find the time to see them as often as your work would permit. Do you see what I mean?
Before you make a BIG decision in your life try to see the outcome from all possible angles first. How will this have and effect on you and the people you are with? As before, some questions need to be addressed. Write these down and on a point system answer each question and rate your answers 1-10, 10 being the best gauge that you are absolutely right and 5 meaning you are not really sure what the outcome will be. Of course below the halfway point means you aren't giving the right answers altogether.
What will I need to give up or compromise should I choose to decide?
How will my life change? Is it for the better? Or will I have to put in more effort only to gain very little?
What will I lose if I decide?
How will the people I love be affected should I decide?
Do I really NEED this?
If I were to decide what would be the long term effect of my decision?
Well, as you see, we got most of our bases covered. The purpose of this exercise is to train ourselves to be more aware of the decisions we make in life. Often times we jump into something without thinking of the possible outcome(s). Intelligent decision making is the key, based on information that is correct and precise. I mean be honest, do you want to go through life deciding on this and that with nothing more than your "gut feelings" or would you rather be sure and secure in your choices? Lastly don't rush into anything. Something can be said about thinking things through and weighing them for what they are worth and what they mean to you. Don't take anything for granted and never take the easy way out. Careful planning says tons about your character and drive to persevere. Live with the decisions you make and try to eliminate regrets from any equation. Until our next post then....remember, don't be afraid to learn something new everyday. You'll be glad to expand your horizons as more choices present themselves to you. Thank you for your time.
Before you make a BIG decision in your life try to see the outcome from all possible angles first. How will this have and effect on you and the people you are with? As before, some questions need to be addressed. Write these down and on a point system answer each question and rate your answers 1-10, 10 being the best gauge that you are absolutely right and 5 meaning you are not really sure what the outcome will be. Of course below the halfway point means you aren't giving the right answers altogether.
What will I need to give up or compromise should I choose to decide?
How will my life change? Is it for the better? Or will I have to put in more effort only to gain very little?
What will I lose if I decide?
How will the people I love be affected should I decide?
Do I really NEED this?
If I were to decide what would be the long term effect of my decision?
Well, as you see, we got most of our bases covered. The purpose of this exercise is to train ourselves to be more aware of the decisions we make in life. Often times we jump into something without thinking of the possible outcome(s). Intelligent decision making is the key, based on information that is correct and precise. I mean be honest, do you want to go through life deciding on this and that with nothing more than your "gut feelings" or would you rather be sure and secure in your choices? Lastly don't rush into anything. Something can be said about thinking things through and weighing them for what they are worth and what they mean to you. Don't take anything for granted and never take the easy way out. Careful planning says tons about your character and drive to persevere. Live with the decisions you make and try to eliminate regrets from any equation. Until our next post then....remember, don't be afraid to learn something new everyday. You'll be glad to expand your horizons as more choices present themselves to you. Thank you for your time.
Mending the Nets
Remember the time when you had some order in your life? When everything fits in place and flows together we get a sense of purpose and a feeling of peace brought about the calmness we feel. We fall out of the seams when we become unhinged from all these and our natural response is actually twofold; to deny and not do anything or to try to bring some order back in our lives.There are actually many types of NEEDS that must be met in order for us to feel complete and these needs are categorized in a heirarchy where your most basic and fundamental needs take precedence over others. Without going through the psychology behind human nature let's talk of these needs as we see, feel, and heed them in our daily living. I think one of our most basic NEEDS is our need to BELONG. Our relationships with our spouse, loved ones, our co-workers, friends, and colleagues gives a basic understanding of our sense of belonging. To be part of something gives us a sense of purpose, a sense of security. We often define who we are not only by what we do but also by where we are.This notion is often overlooked and sometimes over emphasized. What you must understand is that although you are in a relationship, you must still exercise your individuality as well as respect other people for theirs.
One of the key areas under our NEED TO BELONG is that of our relationships. I'm going to ask you some questions and I want you to think of the QUESTIONS as well as your ANSWERS:
"Are your relationships healthy?"
Now take a moment to think about that. Does a healthy relationship mean it's based on trust, is free of tensions, reservations, stress, etc.? Well, yes and no. Yes in that a healthy relationship does require the
previous criterias be met and no in that some elements besides what's mentioned above need addressing as well. First of these is the idea of "Give and Take". Now remember that there are no perfect relationships. Like everything else it needs to be worked at, to be sustained and nurtured in order to make it work; and
making relationships work is not a one man team, it takes both partners to play by the rules. When a point of compromise is reached on a given subject or issue between two people how far do you think can you maintain your end of the bargain before your comfort zones are breached? Do you stretch your limits and compromise your needs, your feelings, your standards just to make it work? Or do you give up and consider it a no win situation and walk away? The reason why a lot of relationships don't work is that people are afraid to enter or commit themselves into letting each other know how they feel.
"How well do you communicate with your partner?"
Find time to talk to one another. Bring that inner spark back in your relationship. Often times, with kids,work, mortgage payments,and everything else taking the time to talk to one another is starting to sound like a rare commodity. I don't mean the usual " How was your day?" talk. Talk of your needs. as we grow older our needs change. Build your relationships based not just on trust but also understanding and acceptance. Know that we are not perfect people so respect your partners' flaws as well as you do their strengths. I think one of the key issues which I think a lot of people miss is the part about LISTENING.
"How well do you listen to your partner?"
What I mean by that is do you listen with deaf ears? When your partner talks and opens his or herself to you try to understand them. A good listener always asks when something is vague or not clearly understood. This gives your partner a gauge on your level of interest or concern on what they are telling you. So don't be a passive listener and be more engaging by showing and letting your partner feel that you are actually there for them.Another key point on being a good listener is to never interrupt your partner when they are trying to get a point across to you. Wait for them to finish and speak with plain honesty.
Mending the nets in any relationship is never easy. It takes effort from both sides to make it work. Respect your partner and be honest with him or her. Don't take them for granted and show them you appreciate the little senseless acts of love they do for you. Remember that if you give love into a relationship its love you get in return. Until our next post, folks...take care and love one another. We've only one take in this thing called life. Make your relationships work and feel better today.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
The 7 Pertinent Things
There are really only several things that matter in life. They make up the core of who you are.Remember that the fundamental things in life never change; they are as they are now as they always were. Don't complicate your life by putting a lot of effort and energy in misdirected priorities. The funny thing about human nature is that we, as human beings, tend to lose interest in many of the things we start and over time we search and yearn for more. A lot of us start something and fail to see it through because we tend to lose interest or find out later on that what we were engaged in isn't really for us. This same concept is seen in almost all forms of endeavor whether they relate to your personal life, your work, or any field of interest that you happen to like. We tend to be whimsical and easily get restless. Why is that do you often wonder? Well, as we evolve, as we grow, and as we strive in a constantly changing world we have this need to be essentially in control in almost all aspects of our lives. We feel that we need to stay on top of things in order to achieve that level of security we constantly strive for. The sad fact is in all of this is that we often times miss out or only have a vague idea of the things that really matter. Wouldn't you be more happier if you try to live a simpler life, making the most of any situation, being always positive and focused. Let me tell you that money is essential for our survival but it isn't the key to our survival. The concept about money revolves around the fact that as you make more, your needs increase dramatically, and with that so does your need to make more money. What if, for instance, everything you worked so hard for including all of your money was taken from you. Where would you be then? We would feel at a complete loss is that not true?
The first thing that matters is your Faith.
Don't trap yourself in a life where you feel you constantly have to strive in order to belong. Take a step back and rethink your priorities. Try to remember who you are, what you are, and why you are here. Never short change yourself. Always take the path of least resistance and always fight the good fight. We only got one take,folks and let's make this one count not only for us but also for the people we love, the people who complete us. Until our next post then...take care of yourselves...and do love one another.
The first thing that matters is your Faith.
- How well do you practice your faith?
- What do you really mean when you say to yourself that you believe?
- We have already talked about this in one of our past posts. Do remember that Healthy means physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally healthy.
- Be conscious and proactive in implementing a healthy lifestyle. Remember that everything starts and ends with you.
- I know it's often hard to spend some time together with your family but make it a priority in your life to actually be there for them in their time of need.
- Learn how to talk to your kids so they don't feel uneasy whenever they want to consult you for anything whether its advice or as simple as an opinion.
- If tension exists in your family try to work towards a solution.
- How well do you love?
- Remember that ALL COMES FROM LOVE. Think about that one.
- Let the people in your life know that you love them. Show them that you do and let them feel that. Saying you love someone isn't enough if they don't feel your love.
- What foundations have you set for yourself? I don't just mean your work ethic here.
- Try to go back in the beginning posts and read about the 4 basic principles I have cited; AN OPEN MIND, AN UNDERSTANDING HEART, CLARITY OF VISION, SINGULARITY OF PURPOSE.
- How well do you function in the workplace?
- Are you a good friend?
- Do you radiate positivity to your colleagues?
- How do you want to be remembered?
Don't trap yourself in a life where you feel you constantly have to strive in order to belong. Take a step back and rethink your priorities. Try to remember who you are, what you are, and why you are here. Never short change yourself. Always take the path of least resistance and always fight the good fight. We only got one take,folks and let's make this one count not only for us but also for the people we love, the people who complete us. Until our next post then...take care of yourselves...and do love one another.
Mending the Nets
Remember the time when you had some order in your life? When everything fits in place and flows together we get a sense of purpose and a feeling of peace brought about the calmness we feel.We fall out of the seams when we become unhinged from all these and our natural response is actually twofold; to deny and not do anything or to try to bring some order back in our lives.There are actually many types of NEEDS that must be met in order for us to feel complete and these needs are categorized in a heirarchy where your most basic and fundamental needs take precedence over others. Without going through the psychology behind human nature let's talk of these needs as we see, feel, and heed them in our daily living. I think one of our most basic NEEDS is our need to BELONG. Our relationships with our spouse, loved ones, our co-workers, friends, and colleagues gives a basic understanding of our sense of belonging. To be part of something gives us a sense of purpose, a sense of security. We often define who we are not only by what we do but also by where we are.This notion is often overlooked and sometimes over emphasized. What you must understand is that although you are in a relationship, you must still exercise your individuality as well as respect other people for theirs.
One of the key areas under our NEED TO BELONG is that of our relationships. I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to think of the QUESTION as well as your ANSWER:
"Are your relationships healthy?"
Now take a moment to think about that. Does a healthy relationship mean it's based on trust, is free of tensions, reservations, stress, etc.? Well, yes and no. Yes in that a healthy relationship does require the previous criterias be met and no in that some elements besides what's mentioned above need addressing as well. First of these is the idea of "Give and Take". Now remember that there are no perfect relationships. Like everything else it needs to be worked at, to be sustained and nurtured in order to make it work; and making relationships work is not a one man team, it takes both partners to play by the rules. When a point of compromise is reached on a given subject or issue between two people how far do you think can you maintain your end of the bargain before your comfort zones are breached? Do you stretch your limits and compromise your needs, your feelings, your standards just to make it work? Or do you give up and consider it a no win situation and walk away? The reason why a lot of relationships don't work is that people are afraid to enter or commit themselves into letting each other know how they feel.
"How well do you communicate with your partner?"
Find time to talk to one another. Bring that inner spark back in your relationship. Often times, with kids, work, mortgage payments,and everything else taking the time to talk to one another is starting to sound like a rare commodity.I don't mean the usual " How was your day?" talk. Talk of your needs. as we grow older our needs change. Build your relationships based not just on trust but also understanding and acceptance. Know that we are not perfect people so respect your partners' flaws as well as you do their strengths. I think one of the key issues which I think a lot of people miss is the part about LISTENING.
"How well do you listen to your partner?"
What I mean by that is do you listen with deaf ears? When your partner talks and opens his or herself to you try to understand them. A good listener always asks when something is vague or not clearly understood. This gives your partner a gauge on your level of interest or concern on what they are telling you. So don't be a passive listener and be more engaging by showing and letting your partner feel that you are actually there for them. Another key point on being a good listener is to never interrupt your partner when they are trying to get a point across to you. Wait for them to finish and speak with plain honesty.
Mending the nets in any relationship is never easy. It takes effort from both sides to make it work. Respect your partner and be honest with him or her. Don't take them for granted and show them you appreciate the little senseless acts of love they do for you. Remember that if you give love into a relationship its love you get in return. Until our next post, folks...take care and do love one another. We've only one take in this thing called life. Make your relationships work and feel better today.
One of the key areas under our NEED TO BELONG is that of our relationships. I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to think of the QUESTION as well as your ANSWER:
"Are your relationships healthy?"
Now take a moment to think about that. Does a healthy relationship mean it's based on trust, is free of tensions, reservations, stress, etc.? Well, yes and no. Yes in that a healthy relationship does require the previous criterias be met and no in that some elements besides what's mentioned above need addressing as well. First of these is the idea of "Give and Take". Now remember that there are no perfect relationships. Like everything else it needs to be worked at, to be sustained and nurtured in order to make it work; and making relationships work is not a one man team, it takes both partners to play by the rules. When a point of compromise is reached on a given subject or issue between two people how far do you think can you maintain your end of the bargain before your comfort zones are breached? Do you stretch your limits and compromise your needs, your feelings, your standards just to make it work? Or do you give up and consider it a no win situation and walk away? The reason why a lot of relationships don't work is that people are afraid to enter or commit themselves into letting each other know how they feel.
"How well do you communicate with your partner?"
Find time to talk to one another. Bring that inner spark back in your relationship. Often times, with kids, work, mortgage payments,and everything else taking the time to talk to one another is starting to sound like a rare commodity.I don't mean the usual " How was your day?" talk. Talk of your needs. as we grow older our needs change. Build your relationships based not just on trust but also understanding and acceptance. Know that we are not perfect people so respect your partners' flaws as well as you do their strengths. I think one of the key issues which I think a lot of people miss is the part about LISTENING.
"How well do you listen to your partner?"
What I mean by that is do you listen with deaf ears? When your partner talks and opens his or herself to you try to understand them. A good listener always asks when something is vague or not clearly understood. This gives your partner a gauge on your level of interest or concern on what they are telling you. So don't be a passive listener and be more engaging by showing and letting your partner feel that you are actually there for them. Another key point on being a good listener is to never interrupt your partner when they are trying to get a point across to you. Wait for them to finish and speak with plain honesty.
Mending the nets in any relationship is never easy. It takes effort from both sides to make it work. Respect your partner and be honest with him or her. Don't take them for granted and show them you appreciate the little senseless acts of love they do for you. Remember that if you give love into a relationship its love you get in return. Until our next post, folks...take care and do love one another. We've only one take in this thing called life. Make your relationships work and feel better today.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Seeing the World for the First Time
We often find ourselves wondering, if for no other reason than simply being, the world is really how we see it or as we hope it to be. We live in difficult and wonderful times. I say difficult because we live in a day and age where ages can pass in a day or days can feel like ages. It isn't comforting to know that we must adapt to an ever changing world day in and day out; not to mention still trying to be functional at the same time. What I am alluding to is that we live in a fast paced world where technological breakthroughs happen overnight and become obsolete the next. But let's not talk of that because we will be missing the point altogether. When we see something for the first time we stand in awe, it's almost like being born. Yet here we are in this mystery, waiting for a miracle, for something, for anything to unfold before our eyes, wanting for a change but what exactly we don't really know. Or how.
Life is full of moments, full of surprises, some painful and some joyful.How do we see the world then? In life, it's not enough to simply want something and strive for it. In all simplicity a meaning must be associated with our actions, our misgivings, our mistakes, our sadness, and our happiness. However, in our quest to find what it is that really matters to us we lose the most important person of all in the process. Ourselves. We can't see the world for the first time if we don't know what we are looking for; we don't know what we are looking for if we don't know what we want; and we don't know what we want if we don't know ourselves. So do you see where this is heading?
Life as we know it is about suffering.It's about the daily grind of living, of getting by. It's about a compromise of trying to make ends meet and trying to arrive at a middle ground for almost everything in fact. I know I may sound a little pessimistic in this intro but one can never really understand or put a value to the rare and gleeful moments in one's life without knowing pain from happiness, hurt from love. When you were in your mother's womb she had to endure the 9 months of discomfort, of postural problems, and the unease of carrying you around and finally, upon birth, the pain of labor. But look at you now. You were brought into this world held by loving arms, seeing the world through innocent eyes, and finally grown to the individual that you are now, full of potential and awareness. You are your gift to the world. Remember that always.
There is always wonderment in self-discovery. Seeing the world for the first time, as I mentioned earlier, is like being born again. The plain truth is the world is ,as you see it now, does not and will not change. In order for you to have a deeper understanding of what you see or associate with, or even feel, the journey has to and must start from within. Understand that all of us, as individuals, have our own stories to tell. We have our own versions to this thing called life and we each have special experiences and moments which essentially define how we see and perceive the world. Notice that I did not say Understand the world. Seeing and Understanding are two different matters altogether.In order for you to see the world for the first time again you would have to go back to a stage of innocence, figuratively speaking, and although this isnt an easy task by any means it starts simply by accepting this two words; LET GO. Let go of all that trouble you, let go of all that pains you, let go of all the negativity that surrounds you, and let go for your desire for worldly possessions. When you are empty you arrive to a level of awareness where every moment is absorbed and appreciated, every senseless acts of love is felt and understood, every second of your life is felt and lived at the utmost and you will feel connected and contented.
So until our next post...a safe and eventful journey to you....
Life is full of moments, full of surprises, some painful and some joyful.How do we see the world then? In life, it's not enough to simply want something and strive for it. In all simplicity a meaning must be associated with our actions, our misgivings, our mistakes, our sadness, and our happiness. However, in our quest to find what it is that really matters to us we lose the most important person of all in the process. Ourselves. We can't see the world for the first time if we don't know what we are looking for; we don't know what we are looking for if we don't know what we want; and we don't know what we want if we don't know ourselves. So do you see where this is heading?
Life as we know it is about suffering.It's about the daily grind of living, of getting by. It's about a compromise of trying to make ends meet and trying to arrive at a middle ground for almost everything in fact. I know I may sound a little pessimistic in this intro but one can never really understand or put a value to the rare and gleeful moments in one's life without knowing pain from happiness, hurt from love. When you were in your mother's womb she had to endure the 9 months of discomfort, of postural problems, and the unease of carrying you around and finally, upon birth, the pain of labor. But look at you now. You were brought into this world held by loving arms, seeing the world through innocent eyes, and finally grown to the individual that you are now, full of potential and awareness. You are your gift to the world. Remember that always.
There is always wonderment in self-discovery. Seeing the world for the first time, as I mentioned earlier, is like being born again. The plain truth is the world is ,as you see it now, does not and will not change. In order for you to have a deeper understanding of what you see or associate with, or even feel, the journey has to and must start from within. Understand that all of us, as individuals, have our own stories to tell. We have our own versions to this thing called life and we each have special experiences and moments which essentially define how we see and perceive the world. Notice that I did not say Understand the world. Seeing and Understanding are two different matters altogether.In order for you to see the world for the first time again you would have to go back to a stage of innocence, figuratively speaking, and although this isnt an easy task by any means it starts simply by accepting this two words; LET GO. Let go of all that trouble you, let go of all that pains you, let go of all the negativity that surrounds you, and let go for your desire for worldly possessions. When you are empty you arrive to a level of awareness where every moment is absorbed and appreciated, every senseless acts of love is felt and understood, every second of your life is felt and lived at the utmost and you will feel connected and contented.
So until our next post...a safe and eventful journey to you....
The Spell of Father Time
When you ask people what their concept of time really is they will often tell you that most of them are always in need of more time. They are always short of time in completing something or doing something for themselves and others. Without delving too much on concepts of time management the truth of the matter is most of us do poorly in managing our own time. Human nature dictates that we often take things for granted only to rush in the end to meet a deadline of some sort. Well, you see time is a funny thing. At some point we have too much of it and become bored to death and at other times we don't have enough of it and we get stressed out and become anxiety ridden.
What is TIME to you? How do you see this notion about time? DO you see it in seconds, minutes, hours, or even years? When you relegate yourself in this frame of mind you become automated to see time in frames as well. A lot of us even see time as the limiting factor in our evolvement, in our growth and I am not talking about just simply personal growth but also in terms of profession and businesses. Well, let me tell you about two concepts; the concept of a MOMENT and that of NATURAL PROGRESSION. The only real time that matters to you is the present; the moment which you call NOW. The many areas which comprise your life happen around you dictated by how you deal with them at the present time. The way they evolve or naturally progress is, ultimately, under your control. So here is another key issue we associate with time-CONTROL. We want to control events in our life placing and categorizing them in our own little microcosm and deal with them in the time we allocate for them.
Well, as I have mentioned earlier, the only real time that matters to you is the Now and the time given to you for making the most of this moment is where you should concentrate your energies. Make the most of the moment and value them for what they are worth. At times of idleness direct your energies elsewhere to make the most of the time allotted to you. Don't see your day as a 24 hour journey through the daily grind which you call your life, but rather, see your day as 1440 minutes of moments.
Don't rush through anything in life. Every process must follow a law of natural progression. Like the tree in your backyard which you planted eons ago and is now a pain to trim, everything takes time to grow. That same process also pertains to you. Personal change does not happen overnight. You must work at it and you must work at it constantly. Liberating yourself from all that troubles you is not merely a decision you make and live with it thereafter. It's a way of life you must maintain to have some real value and tangible results.
So, take your time and the time to see things through, value your moments, and respect the spell of father time. Use it to your advantage. Make it count. Until our next post..take care, folks and do be good to yourself and to one another. That's one way to feel better today!
What is TIME to you? How do you see this notion about time? DO you see it in seconds, minutes, hours, or even years? When you relegate yourself in this frame of mind you become automated to see time in frames as well. A lot of us even see time as the limiting factor in our evolvement, in our growth and I am not talking about just simply personal growth but also in terms of profession and businesses. Well, let me tell you about two concepts; the concept of a MOMENT and that of NATURAL PROGRESSION. The only real time that matters to you is the present; the moment which you call NOW. The many areas which comprise your life happen around you dictated by how you deal with them at the present time. The way they evolve or naturally progress is, ultimately, under your control. So here is another key issue we associate with time-CONTROL. We want to control events in our life placing and categorizing them in our own little microcosm and deal with them in the time we allocate for them.
Well, as I have mentioned earlier, the only real time that matters to you is the Now and the time given to you for making the most of this moment is where you should concentrate your energies. Make the most of the moment and value them for what they are worth. At times of idleness direct your energies elsewhere to make the most of the time allotted to you. Don't see your day as a 24 hour journey through the daily grind which you call your life, but rather, see your day as 1440 minutes of moments.
Don't rush through anything in life. Every process must follow a law of natural progression. Like the tree in your backyard which you planted eons ago and is now a pain to trim, everything takes time to grow. That same process also pertains to you. Personal change does not happen overnight. You must work at it and you must work at it constantly. Liberating yourself from all that troubles you is not merely a decision you make and live with it thereafter. It's a way of life you must maintain to have some real value and tangible results.
So, take your time and the time to see things through, value your moments, and respect the spell of father time. Use it to your advantage. Make it count. Until our next post..take care, folks and do be good to yourself and to one another. That's one way to feel better today!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Finding Your Own Truths
I should point out to you that no one understands you better than you do. In the same regard, no one misunderstands you better than you. We often take a lot of things about ourselves for granted, to the point that if someone were to complement us in a way we tend to be taken back or even surprised. Nothing in life is ever simple. A lot of things happen to us which we take for no more than mere experiences or trials. We tend to not associate any value with these because of the pain or uneasiness associated with such hard times. The fact is times such as these are learning experiences for us; a time to grow, to evolve, to be better. There are two things which must be undermined during trials and hardships and, as before, the root of these can be laid out in the open by asking ourselves two questions: "What am I doing wrong?" and "What could I have done differently?"
Finding your own truths is about self-discovery. It's a state of reawakening, a redirection of your life energies towards more positive and warmer flows. Uncover what makes you weak and respect your weaknesses as you do your strengths.We are not created equally because we are not made to feel the same during trying times. What I mean by that is we interpret the world based on our experiences of it. Our sense of awareness encompasses only that which we understand and beyond that we tend to get uneasy and wary of the unknown and uncertain. Finding your own truths is about self-discovery; about self-realization and understanding. It's about rebirth and contentment.
So what do you need to do? Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we hold in ourselves the answers to most of the questions we seek answers to.All I can do for you is lay out a layout, game plan, a preliminary sketch , if you will, on how to map out key areas in your life.For simplicity's sake we will talk of 4 key areas in your life, all of which has a focal point. That focal point is you. Here they are:
1. My Relationships with my family, my co-workers, my friends and colleagues.
2. My Aspirations, Hopes, Future plans, and Needs.
3. My Perspective on the world in general and key Issues which, ultimately, will have a profound effect in my life.
4. Where do I see Myself in all these or, more importantly, How do I see Myself in these?
So there you have it. Be honest with the questions you ask yourself. Be realistic with them and be honest with your answers. Until our next post then....
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Your Health
A lot of people associate health with being full of vibrant energy, being fit, being able to exercise on a regular basis, and not having lifestyle associated diseases and habits. well, this is true for the most part but being in good health is actually much more than that. Being healthy is not just being physically fit but also being mentally and spiritually healthy. So you see, health is not just being free of disease or debilitating conditions.
In this regard I would like to point out then what a positive attitude does for you as well as some humor in your life. You see, stress does more harm to your health than you think and I am not speaking of merely having ulcers. Stress and depression lowers your immune systems ability to respond to infections and diseases. Whats more depression lowers your endocrine functions and we all know what important roles your hormones play in terms of growth and over all well being. So laugh a little and don't take life so seriously. Roll with the punches, dust yourself off, get up and start again. That is how you fight the good fight in life. Never give up and don't sell yourself short to someone else's standards.
The key to optimal health is to take the following simple steps:
1. Eat in moderation. It's ok to have that piece of chocolate chip cookie and not feel guilty about it. Eat to sustain your body's needs, not overload it.
2. Make a habit of doing some 30 minute exercises in the morning, enough to get your heart rate up. Cardiovascular exercise do not only burn fat but also helps your heart. Remember that it too is a muscle. If you prefer walking, go that route.
3. Cleanse your body once in a while. Our bodies are made up of over 70% water and one good way to remove toxins from your system is water cleansing. Simply adding 2 or 3 glasses of water to the recommended 8 glasses of water a day should start you up very nicely.
4. Know your RDA's( Recommended Daily Allowance). Vitamins and Trace elements also have a recommended daily intake. So don't over supplement yourself.
5. Visit your primary physician regularly and have your check up done. Blood Sugar Levels and Lipid Profiles are there to see if you are not a candidate for Diabetes or Heart Disease.
^. Know your Greens. Eat fruits, salads, and fibers a lot. Do your research on the health values of some of your veggies. Garlic has been shown to be good for the heart. So is drinking pineapple juice. Some fruits high in anti-oxidants can also be cancer preventive. So it's beneficial to know what you buy in the supermarket and it's health benefit.
7. Stress shortens your life. Avoid being stressed out all the time. We will cover the effects of stress and dealing with stress in a later blog.
8. Depression is a disease. Like stress it has health issues. We will talk about the signs of depression and how to dealwith it also on future blog.
9. Do mental exercises. There are memory games out there as well as games such as crossword puzzles to keep your mind sharp. These exercises sharpen your focus and help in retention. Remember that as we age we tend to forget more, and this is natural.
10. Go to church often. Don't just talk the talk but do your part and practice good Faith.
11. Serve others. You'll feel good that you did. Feeling good is a good way to boost your immune system and alleviate stress and depression as well.
12. Understand that there are Lifestyle Diseases brought about by the way you live your lifestyle. Vices such as smoking and Alcohol I don't have to tell you about. These two multiplies your risk several fold for certain types of cancers and other related diseases.
13. Respect your body because it is the finest instrument you own. Exercise when you can. Eat in moderation when you can't exercise.
Always remember that your health doesn't just include your physical well-being. Although some overweight individuals have depression and have high stress levels, Health in general includes mental and spiritual aspects as well.
So there you have it.
The key to optimal health is to take the following simple steps:
1. Eat in moderation. It's ok to have that piece of chocolate chip cookie and not feel guilty about it. Eat to sustain your body's needs, not overload it.
2. Make a habit of doing some 30 minute exercises in the morning, enough to get your heart rate up. Cardiovascular exercise do not only burn fat but also helps your heart. Remember that it too is a muscle. If you prefer walking, go that route.
3. Cleanse your body once in a while. Our bodies are made up of over 70% water and one good way to remove toxins from your system is water cleansing. Simply adding 2 or 3 glasses of water to the recommended 8 glasses of water a day should start you up very nicely.
4. Know your RDA's( Recommended Daily Allowance). Vitamins and Trace elements also have a recommended daily intake. So don't over supplement yourself.
5. Visit your primary physician regularly and have your check up done. Blood Sugar Levels and Lipid Profiles are there to see if you are not a candidate for Diabetes or Heart Disease.
^. Know your Greens. Eat fruits, salads, and fibers a lot. Do your research on the health values of some of your veggies. Garlic has been shown to be good for the heart. So is drinking pineapple juice. Some fruits high in anti-oxidants can also be cancer preventive. So it's beneficial to know what you buy in the supermarket and it's health benefit.
7. Stress shortens your life. Avoid being stressed out all the time. We will cover the effects of stress and dealing with stress in a later blog.
8. Depression is a disease. Like stress it has health issues. We will talk about the signs of depression and how to dealwith it also on future blog.
9. Do mental exercises. There are memory games out there as well as games such as crossword puzzles to keep your mind sharp. These exercises sharpen your focus and help in retention. Remember that as we age we tend to forget more, and this is natural.
10. Go to church often. Don't just talk the talk but do your part and practice good Faith.
11. Serve others. You'll feel good that you did. Feeling good is a good way to boost your immune system and alleviate stress and depression as well.
12. Understand that there are Lifestyle Diseases brought about by the way you live your lifestyle. Vices such as smoking and Alcohol I don't have to tell you about. These two multiplies your risk several fold for certain types of cancers and other related diseases.
13. Respect your body because it is the finest instrument you own. Exercise when you can. Eat in moderation when you can't exercise.
Always remember that your health doesn't just include your physical well-being. Although some overweight individuals have depression and have high stress levels, Health in general includes mental and spiritual aspects as well.
So there you have it.
Starting With You
Like everything that you do or project to the world and to people in general, is a mirrored reflection of who you are- the person that is you. I would like to think that in order to be a productive and well rounded individual it makes sense to start building on the basics. We need to understand where we are lacking and try to work on these areas, building them and making them better. Let's start with the Fundamentals:
1. Your Health.
2. Your Faith or your Strength in Spirit
3. Your Relationships.
4. An Open Mind yields a Clarity of Vision
5. An Understanding Heart
6. Singularity in Purpose
7. The Perception of Time
So we will discuss each of the listed topics above, trying not to go too far ahead of ourselves of course. For the following posts we will cover a topic each and try to assess where everything fits and how we fit in it.
1. Your Health.
2. Your Faith or your Strength in Spirit
3. Your Relationships.
4. An Open Mind yields a Clarity of Vision
5. An Understanding Heart
6. Singularity in Purpose
7. The Perception of Time
So we will discuss each of the listed topics above, trying not to go too far ahead of ourselves of course. For the following posts we will cover a topic each and try to assess where everything fits and how we fit in it.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
An Urgent Message on Urgency
We have discussed in our previous post why most of us are unwilling to change. We have stated the first reason as being we are AFRAID. The second reason why we are unwilling to change is that we lack a SENSE OF URGENCY. Sometimes we have learned to desensitize ourselves to the point that we no longer recognize the untoward signs which keep flashing in front of our eyes saying to us that things aren't really where we want them to be, and we aren't really where we want ourselves to be.
How we act or react towards areas in our lives which we find to be lacking in one aspect or another depends entirely on how we evaluate the situation and how we evaluate our place in it as well as how we resolve or propose to resolve them. If there were three words you can put in the same basket they would be URGENCY, NEED, and PRIORITIES.
Every aspect of your life requires a certain level of attention, some may require more than others but they all need your attention, nevertheless. You have to start recognizing the warning signs which can unhinge the balance you strive to achieve in your life. You can't possibly cover all with mastery but you can keep everything together. Understand that you are not the only player involved but also understand that everything stems from you. The reaction and results you get depends entirely on your actions.
Remember that there are no set rules in life. We have to change with a constantly changing world. Time is not always on our side. The key to make this whole journey a little easier and less hectic can be best described by the following points below:
1. Don't worry too much about things you have very little power or no power to control.
2. Don't sweat the details.
3. Take the time to actually make your actions count.
4. Never take anyone for granted.
5. Always mean what you say and say what you mean.
6. Never lie.
7. Admit your mistakes.
8. Take your time.
Well, simple they may seem but a lot of people have a hard time trying to make these work for them.
On our next posts we will be tackling the first part of our Feel-Better-Today program, and that will be Starting With You. I feel that in order to make a blog like this work we'd have to cover and discuss all aspects of our lives which complete us and , as always, we start with ourselves. So I'll be seeing you folks next time. Be good to yourselves and be good to one another ok.....
How we act or react towards areas in our lives which we find to be lacking in one aspect or another depends entirely on how we evaluate the situation and how we evaluate our place in it as well as how we resolve or propose to resolve them. If there were three words you can put in the same basket they would be URGENCY, NEED, and PRIORITIES.
Every aspect of your life requires a certain level of attention, some may require more than others but they all need your attention, nevertheless. You have to start recognizing the warning signs which can unhinge the balance you strive to achieve in your life. You can't possibly cover all with mastery but you can keep everything together. Understand that you are not the only player involved but also understand that everything stems from you. The reaction and results you get depends entirely on your actions.
Remember that there are no set rules in life. We have to change with a constantly changing world. Time is not always on our side. The key to make this whole journey a little easier and less hectic can be best described by the following points below:
1. Don't worry too much about things you have very little power or no power to control.
2. Don't sweat the details.
3. Take the time to actually make your actions count.
4. Never take anyone for granted.
5. Always mean what you say and say what you mean.
6. Never lie.
7. Admit your mistakes.
8. Take your time.
Well, simple they may seem but a lot of people have a hard time trying to make these work for them.
On our next posts we will be tackling the first part of our Feel-Better-Today program, and that will be Starting With You. I feel that in order to make a blog like this work we'd have to cover and discuss all aspects of our lives which complete us and , as always, we start with ourselves. So I'll be seeing you folks next time. Be good to yourselves and be good to one another ok.....
The Ties that Bind
On my last post I cited some key fundamental questions you should make the habit of asking every once in a while. These questions serve to uncover the direction in which your life is heading towards. A very interesting notion is that most people don't realize that no matter what walks of life we ascend from, or whatever cultural background we may have been brought up in, our essential needs are basically the same. The things that make us cry or laugh, the simple gestures which puts a smile in our face or sadness in our hearts are basically the same. What am I getting at here? My point is we aren't THAT different from each other. There are several essential ties that bind us all besides human emotions and needs. One of these is our desire to improve upon ourselves and make the quality of our lives inherently better than, say, yesterday. So you see we have it in us to forge ahead!!! We have it in us to overcome any and all obstacles ahead. More importantly we have it in us to CHANGE.
So why is it so hard for us to change some aspects of our lives like our relationships, our diets, our lifestyle, our habits, whatever? It is because CHANGE IS DIFFERENT. Most people can't empower themselves enough to commit to doing something different even though they know in their heart of hearts that it is what they must do. There are essentially two reasons why this first hurdle is the hardest to overcome and why most people never get past this first crucial step.
We will talk about each of these one at a time so we can really digress their effects on our lives. Ready? Ok......
The first reason why we are unwilling to change is because WE ARE AFRAID. There are actually many factors why we are afraid to commit ourselves towards lasting personal change but the most important of these is we are afraid to leave our comfort zones and we are afraid of failing. It is easier for most people to NOT DO ANYTHING at all, to leave things as they are, rather than take that leap of faith to change the quality of their lives. Let me give you an example....Say you are 20-30 pounds overweight. You have been trying to lose those extra pounds all these years and you may have succeeded to lose 5 or 10 but end up gaining 7 or 12 back. You kept on trying still, buying fat burning exercise machines from infomercials and like before you end up gaining back what you lost. Then the kids came, car payments, house payments, a promotion, and everything else. Then several years down the road you realize that you have RESIGNED yourself to this stately condition and every time you see a slimmer person wearing that blouse or shirt you've always wanted and known you'd look good in...if only you were slimmer.How would that make you feel? Believe me, I know how that feels because I felt miserable. Fear can be constructive because it can teach you to be cautious and wary. Use your fear constructively. Don't be afraid to take that first step and commit because you are never alone!! Take comfort in the fact that someone, somewhere in this world is in the same dilemma as you are and is also contemplating in taking that first step, and is also afraid. Remember that you have a choice. Remember also that not doing anything is in itself also a choice. If you fail get up, dust yourself off, take a deep breath, and start over...until you get it right. THAT IS LIFE.
Say to yourself, every time you fall, these empowering words;
" I AM BETTER THAN THIS"
"HERE WE ARE AGAIN. LET'S GET IT RIGHT THIS TIME SO WE WON'T HAVE TO GO BACK."
"YOU CAN DO THIS!! NO ONE IS GOING TO DO THIS FOR YOU BUT YOU!!"
" I WILL DO THIS...NOW."
" IF NOT TODAY, THEN WHEN STILL?"
On our next post we will cover the next reason why we are unwilling to change. For now, think about what we have covered so far and apply it in the context of your own life. We have much ground to cover still...but the road ahead is long, and today we are weary...so let us take a moment of rest. Until then...
So why is it so hard for us to change some aspects of our lives like our relationships, our diets, our lifestyle, our habits, whatever? It is because CHANGE IS DIFFERENT. Most people can't empower themselves enough to commit to doing something different even though they know in their heart of hearts that it is what they must do. There are essentially two reasons why this first hurdle is the hardest to overcome and why most people never get past this first crucial step.
We will talk about each of these one at a time so we can really digress their effects on our lives. Ready? Ok......
The first reason why we are unwilling to change is because WE ARE AFRAID. There are actually many factors why we are afraid to commit ourselves towards lasting personal change but the most important of these is we are afraid to leave our comfort zones and we are afraid of failing. It is easier for most people to NOT DO ANYTHING at all, to leave things as they are, rather than take that leap of faith to change the quality of their lives. Let me give you an example....Say you are 20-30 pounds overweight. You have been trying to lose those extra pounds all these years and you may have succeeded to lose 5 or 10 but end up gaining 7 or 12 back. You kept on trying still, buying fat burning exercise machines from infomercials and like before you end up gaining back what you lost. Then the kids came, car payments, house payments, a promotion, and everything else. Then several years down the road you realize that you have RESIGNED yourself to this stately condition and every time you see a slimmer person wearing that blouse or shirt you've always wanted and known you'd look good in...if only you were slimmer.How would that make you feel? Believe me, I know how that feels because I felt miserable. Fear can be constructive because it can teach you to be cautious and wary. Use your fear constructively. Don't be afraid to take that first step and commit because you are never alone!! Take comfort in the fact that someone, somewhere in this world is in the same dilemma as you are and is also contemplating in taking that first step, and is also afraid. Remember that you have a choice. Remember also that not doing anything is in itself also a choice. If you fail get up, dust yourself off, take a deep breath, and start over...until you get it right. THAT IS LIFE.
Say to yourself, every time you fall, these empowering words;
" I AM BETTER THAN THIS"
"HERE WE ARE AGAIN. LET'S GET IT RIGHT THIS TIME SO WE WON'T HAVE TO GO BACK."
"YOU CAN DO THIS!! NO ONE IS GOING TO DO THIS FOR YOU BUT YOU!!"
" I WILL DO THIS...NOW."
" IF NOT TODAY, THEN WHEN STILL?"
On our next post we will cover the next reason why we are unwilling to change. For now, think about what we have covered so far and apply it in the context of your own life. We have much ground to cover still...but the road ahead is long, and today we are weary...so let us take a moment of rest. Until then...
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