The First Step to Lasting Personal Change

You know, It really amazes me how many infomercials, webinars, websites, links, etc. are out there promising you a "new and proven" technique, method, or secret that can make you thousands of dollars weekly or even daily through a home based business using nothing but a computer and an internet connection. What's more convincing is that these adverts include testimonials of regular people, presumably just like you and I, who have actually used the course or product to make the kind of money promised to them. Well, a lot of people actually fall for these internet business courses and buy them with the hope that a few extra hours a day can help make ends meet or even pay off the mortgage.

The truth is, almost always these products or programs fail to deliver the goods and the consumer ends up searching for something better. Making money in the internet is real. The way to make money through the internet is careful planning, finding a profitable niche, selecting a product or service to fill this niche, advertise, advertise, and more advertise. When I say advertise I mean targeted advertising and not advertising blindly. Of course you need to master using the right keywords and action words in your ads to be more visible to search engines and search phrases. Action words are words which compels your reader(s) to act upon them or catch their attention long enough to arouse their curiosity. But enough of this internet money-making venture. My purpose for writing this post is not to teach you how to make money on the internet but to make you ponder on, and later investigate and delve deeper  the factors which circumvent around this simple notion- we are never truly content. We yearn for more than what we actually need. Sounds familiar? You know it does.

There comes a time in our lives when we have to take everything in retrospect and try to undermine why we aren't happy and contented with our lives. We need to limit our associations with material things and focus our efforts and energies on relevant key issues like health, relationships, personal growth, and global outlook.
A lot of times, when you ask somebody what the central focus of most of their problems are you'll know that it usually revolves around the issue of money. Don't get me wrong, we need money to survive in society but we don't need too much of it. The media has hardwired financial independence into our subconscious as something that is attainable only if we make more money than we actually need. Of course a lot of people would disagree with me but let me ask you this- you have heard of business execs or even CEO's of companies actually dropping everything and leaving their job to live in the tropics somewhere living on simple living and eager means, right? They leave their cellphones, emails, laptops, and other "tie-me-downs" behind and start living a simple, stress-free life, being one with nature, being at peace with themselves, and donating their wealth to charity.

I guess the one question which begs answering is why. Why would someone making millions of dollars leave all that behind? Why the sudden and drastic change in retrospect? The answer is they have had enough. They have reached a truer sense of understanding of what their actual needs are and how to go about attaining them. The revelation is intense and so life-changing that their complete reversion to the exact opposite is so sudden and without hesitation. What do they know that eludes us? They have learned to LET GO. Letting go is the first step to lasting personal change. Your complete and utter surrender to the fact that something has to change or something will give is the paramount move by which you will plant your cornerstones on. Learn to let go and accept certain truths in your life. I usually advice people to make an honest list of what they need to change in their life. Here is an example:

       1. If I don't change my eating habits and exercise more often I will be unhealthy and die early.
       2. If I don't mend things between me and my parent/ brother/ sister/ wife the distance grows between
           us.
Now, how about rewording the first statement as, " If I don't do anything to start being healthy I will never grow old enough to see my grandchildren!" and the second statement as " If I don't come out in the open and  patch things up they will never know how much i really love and care for them.". Do you see now how we need to see things in a different light at times in order to compel us to act upon them sooner?

Letting go is not easy. It is, however, necessary in order to move on. IN order for us to change we have to admit to ourselves that we needed changing. We have to accept the notion that we need to let go of some things in order to attain something new. An old life for a new one, if you will. The next post we will cover is about uncovering and defining your fears.
  

The Storms Ahead

Life is full of surprises. Nothing is ever as we expect, and nothing is almost always as we suspect. Everything changes and very few things, if any, ever remains the same. How we cope or adjust to changing situations or uncertainties pretty much serves as a good measure of how our resolve stands up to the challenge called Life. We have our own storms to weather and our own crosses to bear but the most important and justifying factor above all else is the HOW; how me maintain sole control of our own ship even if the sails go awry.

I once knew a friend who had it bad in every which way possible. Everything he ever tried to do almost always goes wrong. He never saw himself as a failure or that he amounted to nothing, rather he saw himself as having a bad set of directions or road maps to life. In other words, he saw the whole experience as a learning curve. He saw it as a chance to rethink strategies over and, perhaps, gain new sets of guidelines or principles. Where is this friend of mine from my college days now? Well, he holds an MD, PhD now. If you are in the circle of medical research and the medical field in general, you probably know the weight of those two titles following a person's name. How did he do it? I had the good fortune of running into him back in 2004 and over a cup of coffee from our favorite brew shop he said to me, " Jowel, I can't even remember how many times I failed but I remember how many times I got up to try again."

That got me thinking then, and although I had no mind of trying to delve into his answer deeper, I had a notion of where he was aiming at. Now its 2013 and here we are, still trying to get ahead, still trying to make any unwasted effort count. The question that's been burning in the back of my head isn't about the HOW anymore. It's more of the WHERE now. The question of HOW we managed all this time and eventually HOW we got here is now irrelevant. A more important question that we should ask ourselves is, "WHERE is HERE exactly?". Are we where we should be, ought to be, or supposed to be?

Nobody can really answer that in the fullest sense, or at least in the sense where it should make some sense. Our notion of time and precedence is dictated by our priorities and needs in life. We don't really take the time to worry about nonsensical stuff in the midst of the flurry of everyday living. Well, let me ask you this? How many times have you felt that something is indeed lacking in your life, that your bowl is never really full, and that the answer always eludes you on what that key ingredient is to finally complete you. Does it revolve around a  certain relationship with a cornerstone figure in your life? Is it about finances? Is it about outlook in general? IT can be a lot of things, really, but the common factor is that you LACK or cannot GRASP it.

The problem boils down to this fact- there is an inherent feeling or need that we harbor which simply dictates to us or tells us that we have to BE IN CONTROL of most, if not all, aspects regarding our lives. I mean let's face it, with control comes a sense of security which affords us a solid stand on just about anything. When we are in control we have an explanation when something goes awry or amiss. With control comes a level of confidence which enables us to take command of any situation and turn it around to our advantage.

What about having FAITH in something other than our abilities? DO we simply confine ourselves to our beliefs and sense of understanding and be polarized from a larger, much wider world view? What happens when we lose control? How will we manage then when nothing goes our way? The storms ahead can get worse when we fail to deal with situations which leave us unhinged. The solution, my friends, is a rather simple one. Simple in the sense that it deals with how we define or, in some instances, how we re-define what our priorities are. It is, however, difficult in the sense that most, if not all of us, have the inherent difficulty of accepting what the situation really is, as it presents itself. Rather, denial and diversion is the mode by which we deal with crisis and problems in our lives.

So, the next several posts will deal with key issues to help you get back on top, be in command and yet have an open mind. Being the captain of your own ship depends on many things and we often omit our faith in the weather. Having a steadfast resolve requires patience, the humility to admit what needs changing and what is inherently lacking, and the courage to strive and forge ahead.