Do you know why most of us do not succeed in most of what we try to do? Is it lack of effort? A plan gone awry even with the best intentions, perhaps? Well, maybe. But know this, the main reason why we fail is because of our lack of BELIEVING in ourselves. We essentially hold ourselves back. What's holding us back? Fear and lack of self-esteem.
Look at yourself at the mirror and speak out loud of what you see. Do you really see yourself or a shadow of what you aspire to be? You are unique and special because there is no other like yourself. That can be good and bad you say but that is the plain old truth of it all. You lack the will and determination of pushing through your aspirations and endeavors for fear of two things, actually; failing and rejection. What do the most successful individuals in their respective fields have in common? They have failed so many times. They saw their failures as stepping stones or learning curves and they were not afraid to fail nor did they remain fallen for long.
Be proud of who you are. DO NOT MEASURE YOURSELF BY SOMEBODY ELSE'S STANDARDS. As long as you are happy the way you are there is absolutely no reason for you to change for anybody. Remember that acceptance is the first step to loving so if you feel that you don't exactly 'fit in', it's because you haven't yet met the crowd where you belong. Don't get me wrong here. Individuality has nothing to do with it. It's just that most people feel they need to belong to the 'in crowd' in order to be somebody and that is absolutely B.S. The only standards you need to live by are your own. Let me repeat that in case you haven't really absorbed what I just said; THE ONLY STANDARDS YOU NEED TO LIVE BY ARE YOUR OWN.
Well, as usual, here are some tips on overcoming low self-esteem;
1. Socialize more. When you have reached your level of comfort zone in interacting with other people you will eventually overcome your weaknesses.
2. Dress to impress but do not overdress. Don't look like you just got out of the sofa when you go out. Look the part and you will get noticed.
3. Maintain collectiveness and reservations in social gatherings. Don't talk too much or you'll be labeled as the 'insecure' one and are desperately vying for anyone and everyone's attention.
4. Speak with confidence. Don't mumble or stutter either. Choose your words carefully and speak plainly.
5. Learn to control your fears. There is no harm in trying. the greatest damage is knowing you can do it but really never had the guts to even begin. Don't let your apprehension hold you back. The world is out there and you need to be a part of it.
6. Give yourself enough credit. Commend yourself on deeds well done. Boosting your self- confidence will elevate your self-esteem.
7. Learn to relax. Nothing is as hard as what you make it out to be. It's all in your head. Think power thoughts and positive thoughts and positive energy will flow through you.
8. Stay away from negative people. Negativity only breeds negativity.
9. Do not stereotype other people because unknowingly you are simply comparing them to yourself.
10. Lastly, smile often. happy people are contented people. Set your goals and aim high but know this- sometimes in order to succeed you need to fall a couple of times. It's just life.
Well, I hope this helped you guys. I was once insecure and had a low self-esteem. If only I could only lock myself from the world. Boy was I wrong. Totally wrong. you don't want to spend the rest of your life running down through your "if only..." list, now do you? Until our next post. You guys take care.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
How to Increase your Memory
As we age our memory, or more precisely our ability to memorize, declines. Aging neurons are not replaced and therefore our capacity to memorize, recall, and even recognize somewhat diminishes. This is a natural physiologic process and is part and parcel of growing old. There are, however, degenerative diseases which does affect memory but these are pathological conditions and they can occur at any age. Before we begin our post on how to increase or improve our memory power let's make a clear concept of what memory is and the types of memory ( what, you didn't know there are several types of memory?)
Ever lost sleep trying to recall the name of somebody you ran into at the local supermarket? You know it's at the tip of your tongue you just can't remember who that person was. You RECOGNIZE her but can't RECALL her name. This case scenario happens to everybody and it's nothing new. Well there are essentially several types of memory but are categorized into two groups; that of short term memory, and that of long term memory. Long term memory can be further divided into explicit, implicit, and autobiographical memories. Let' just say, to make things simple, that short term memory is your "working" memory. It's what you remember on a day to day basis. It allows you to function with familiarity and continuity. Long term memory, on the other hand, is STORED memory and are often more complex than short term memory in that they involve more detail and are stored in different memory systems. Short term memory does not have this ability to be stored so if you stopped doing something for a while you will probably forget how to do it next time around. However, if you've been playing baseball all your life, you'll never forget how to play it. See the difference.
But enough of the medical lingo now and let's get to HOW WE CAN IMPROVE OUR MEMORY OR ABILITY TO MEMORIZE. The brain, being an organ in and of itself also needs "EXERCISE" You have to get into the habit of trying to recall things in order to work your memory. You can also do mental exercises like a crossword puzzle, perhaps, which hones your ability to think for sustained periods as well as increase your span of ATTENTION. The first step to increasing your memory is to INCREASE YOUR ATTENTIVENESS. Most of us go through a day without even paying much attention to the little moments and details which comprise our day. We simply want to hurry things along to get them over with. Sometimes completion is more important than procedures for us.
The next is perhaps the most obvious and the most overlooked; and that is optimal health. Your brain consumes a lot of what you take in and if you eat poorly or excessively ( both ends of the spectrum), your mental state of mind also suffers.
Eat to sustain your body ONLY. Eat right, exercise frequently, and eradicate any vices you might have. Foods high in iron, minerals such as folic acid, and B-vitamins increase brain power. Lack of sleep, alcohol, smoking, and fatigue decreases it.
As I mentioned earlier, try to do mental exercises. Do the crossword puzzle on your morning paper. This allows you to exercise rote memory as well as retrieval from your long term memory stores. Another exercise you can certainly do is be an avid reader. Be wide read but not bookish ( if you know what I mean). You don't want to be called a bookworm now do you?
Increasing your ability to memorize names, things, places, concepts, and even detailed information like numbers comes with continual practice. You can associate things with other familiar objects to make memorizing them easier. You can also make a song out of a slew of information. Anything silly will be memorable so keep that in mind. Until our next post, you guys take care.
Ever lost sleep trying to recall the name of somebody you ran into at the local supermarket? You know it's at the tip of your tongue you just can't remember who that person was. You RECOGNIZE her but can't RECALL her name. This case scenario happens to everybody and it's nothing new. Well there are essentially several types of memory but are categorized into two groups; that of short term memory, and that of long term memory. Long term memory can be further divided into explicit, implicit, and autobiographical memories. Let' just say, to make things simple, that short term memory is your "working" memory. It's what you remember on a day to day basis. It allows you to function with familiarity and continuity. Long term memory, on the other hand, is STORED memory and are often more complex than short term memory in that they involve more detail and are stored in different memory systems. Short term memory does not have this ability to be stored so if you stopped doing something for a while you will probably forget how to do it next time around. However, if you've been playing baseball all your life, you'll never forget how to play it. See the difference.
But enough of the medical lingo now and let's get to HOW WE CAN IMPROVE OUR MEMORY OR ABILITY TO MEMORIZE. The brain, being an organ in and of itself also needs "EXERCISE" You have to get into the habit of trying to recall things in order to work your memory. You can also do mental exercises like a crossword puzzle, perhaps, which hones your ability to think for sustained periods as well as increase your span of ATTENTION. The first step to increasing your memory is to INCREASE YOUR ATTENTIVENESS. Most of us go through a day without even paying much attention to the little moments and details which comprise our day. We simply want to hurry things along to get them over with. Sometimes completion is more important than procedures for us.
The next is perhaps the most obvious and the most overlooked; and that is optimal health. Your brain consumes a lot of what you take in and if you eat poorly or excessively ( both ends of the spectrum), your mental state of mind also suffers.
Eat to sustain your body ONLY. Eat right, exercise frequently, and eradicate any vices you might have. Foods high in iron, minerals such as folic acid, and B-vitamins increase brain power. Lack of sleep, alcohol, smoking, and fatigue decreases it.
As I mentioned earlier, try to do mental exercises. Do the crossword puzzle on your morning paper. This allows you to exercise rote memory as well as retrieval from your long term memory stores. Another exercise you can certainly do is be an avid reader. Be wide read but not bookish ( if you know what I mean). You don't want to be called a bookworm now do you?
Increasing your ability to memorize names, things, places, concepts, and even detailed information like numbers comes with continual practice. You can associate things with other familiar objects to make memorizing them easier. You can also make a song out of a slew of information. Anything silly will be memorable so keep that in mind. Until our next post, you guys take care.
Friday, July 8, 2011
How You Look Matters
Nothing exudes confidence better than your appearance. First impressions are hard to forget and most likely the lasting ones. If you're going to put your best foot forward, start by looking the part first. What am I talking about here? Am I suggesting that you go out and get a copy of that fall fashion catalog you saw your neighbor perusing over the other day? Appearance, folks is not just based on how you look. It's how you carry yourself. It's the way you talk. Do you talk with the utmost confidence or just simply mumble your words? It's also the way you project your personality towards others. These and your outward appearance can say a ton about you ( and consequently mean being hired or having your application relegated to the "other" stack).
The first order of the day is learning how to broaden your vocabulary. Strengthening your word power can project intellectuality but more importantly it shows you are a willing learner. Be a wide reader and try to look up confounding words if you can. Also, how you answer can mean a lot. If you are asked a yes or no question then give a yes or no answer. If asked to elaborate further then do so. Don't go beyond the scope of the question because your answers will fall on deaf ears.
Secondly, personal hygiene and grooming are essential. They indicate whether you are health conscious and look after yourself. Tidiness at the workplace and home can also say a lot of your character. Individuals who are detail-conscious are goal oriented and this sort of work ethic can mean the difference between coming up with solutions or being barraged with endless suggestions. Remember that hard work builds character.
Thirdly, power dress yourself but don't overdo it. Keep your wardrobe simple and don't accessorize to the point of vanity. Wearing loud colors won't help either. On a job interview black is the gold standard. Keeping your wardrobe pressed and free of stains speaks volumes of your projected image. You don't want to look like you do at 5 o'clock when it's only 9 a.m. in the morning now do you? Also. don't over accessorize. Use soft glow colors and less printed fabrics.
Lastly, learn to speak and act with positivity. Stand tall and exude confidence. Be humble yet sure, be friendly yet reserved, be open and willing yet non-compromising. So you see, it's not JUST the way you look that reflects who and what you are. Of course don't get caught in your local supermarket wearing your house scrubs. Always look your best and be at your best. You'll never know when you will be caught off guard and unawares. Project an image that says what you want other people to think of you. Carry yourself appropriately and accordingly. Never loose your calm in any situation. How you look matters because how you are seen ( especially for the first time) already instills an 80% image in the mind's eye of the casual observer. So look your best. Until our next post,folks.
The first order of the day is learning how to broaden your vocabulary. Strengthening your word power can project intellectuality but more importantly it shows you are a willing learner. Be a wide reader and try to look up confounding words if you can. Also, how you answer can mean a lot. If you are asked a yes or no question then give a yes or no answer. If asked to elaborate further then do so. Don't go beyond the scope of the question because your answers will fall on deaf ears.
Secondly, personal hygiene and grooming are essential. They indicate whether you are health conscious and look after yourself. Tidiness at the workplace and home can also say a lot of your character. Individuals who are detail-conscious are goal oriented and this sort of work ethic can mean the difference between coming up with solutions or being barraged with endless suggestions. Remember that hard work builds character.
Thirdly, power dress yourself but don't overdo it. Keep your wardrobe simple and don't accessorize to the point of vanity. Wearing loud colors won't help either. On a job interview black is the gold standard. Keeping your wardrobe pressed and free of stains speaks volumes of your projected image. You don't want to look like you do at 5 o'clock when it's only 9 a.m. in the morning now do you? Also. don't over accessorize. Use soft glow colors and less printed fabrics.
Lastly, learn to speak and act with positivity. Stand tall and exude confidence. Be humble yet sure, be friendly yet reserved, be open and willing yet non-compromising. So you see, it's not JUST the way you look that reflects who and what you are. Of course don't get caught in your local supermarket wearing your house scrubs. Always look your best and be at your best. You'll never know when you will be caught off guard and unawares. Project an image that says what you want other people to think of you. Carry yourself appropriately and accordingly. Never loose your calm in any situation. How you look matters because how you are seen ( especially for the first time) already instills an 80% image in the mind's eye of the casual observer. So look your best. Until our next post,folks.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
How To Cure Loneliness
Can you recognize symptoms of loneliness? Can you outrightly pick out behavioral changes brought about or due to loneliness? Well, being alone is no fun that's for sure but what's important to unravel is why people are alone, or more importantly, why do they make the conscious decision to BE alone.
A lot of times in our lives we experience pain that continually haunt us. Because of the anxiety, depression, and remorse associated with such an experience we often avoid circumstances and situations which may precipitate a repeat of such an experience. In other words we become defensive in nature. Perhaps a failed relationship or a tragic experience can lead to this. It is in our human nature to take the path of least resistance and this form of countermeasure, although effective, has its own downside as well.
A lot of us tend to be "loners", preferring to be left alone going about our own business. Well, let me share with you two universal truths regarding loneliness;
1. NONE of us are ever truly alone.
2. Loneliness is NOT healthy.
Let me elaborate on these two points. None of us are ever truly alone. Whether we care to admit it or not, we are never really alone. Somewhere out there someone or a group of people associate themselves with you and that means relationships. Of course if you have other issues in question like communication gaps and issues of trust that is a different matter altogether. Resolution or closure of such issues can indeed broaden distances between two people and is , therefore, unhealthy. The other point is that we as human beings thrive on relationships for personal growth, maturity, emotional completeness, and character building. Without other people to complete our lives we are socially insecure, emotionally unstable, and lacking self-esteem. What's more is that loneliness can lead to depression and depression can lead to death.
So the question begins with HOW,but the first part of any problem starts with recognition and acceptance. Only when you have come to that point can healing be initiated( and without difficulty). I am not saying you should go out more, although that's not a bad suggestion in the sense, but I am hinting at making your present relationships richer. Relationships, you see, are like plants. They need to be taken care of and nurtured in order to grow healthily. So curing loneliness begins with this first step:
1. Make your relationships richer.
The next step has something to do with YOU. You must allow yourself some room to change, be open-minded, be patient, and, most importantly, be more loving. Know this other universal truth; There are many things in life we are not capable of changing, but those in which we have the power to change we can certainly improve upon. And that certainly does not exclude you. The second step to the HOW then is:
2. Reset your life by resetting yourself.
The third step to curing loneliness is rather difficult for most people. Difficult in the sense that they don't see this term in it's totality. Instead they see it in gradients or degrees of partiality. What am I talking about? FORGIVENESS. Is it so hard to forgive SOMEONE? Let me rephrase the question in a different light. Is it so hard to forgive YOURSELF? I want you to think long and hard on that one. Try to see how the question relates to your life, your relationships, your outlook, and almost everything else,really. You see, it all begins with recognizing the problem, accepting that there is indeed a problem, and for whatever mistakes or shortcomings thereof-forgiveness. Remember, the third step is:
3. Learn to be more forgiving.
Being alone or feeling lonely is not healthy. Not only do you harbor negativity and emotional instability you also prevent yourself from growing in all aspects. Don't close yourself out. Don't shut the door to the world. You are not simply going to fade away or become distant memory because this is real life, not poetry. With that we come to the last step in curing loneliness:
4. Be not afraid.
Fear is the one greatest thing which hampers almost everything in our lives. I can go on and on on how it affects us and destabilize and immobilize us but let us take it on the viewpoint of loneliness. We are alone because we are afraid to commit, we are afraid to make the first step to closure, we are afraid of taking risks, we are afraid of being hurt (again?), or we are afraid of failing. You get the picture. Life warrants necessary risks from time to time, you see. Learn to use your fears to your advantage. Use it as a leverage to becoming more cautious, more attentive, and more sensitive to your needs and other peoples as well. Never let it be a deterring factor in your life.
Until our next post, folks. You guys take care.
A lot of times in our lives we experience pain that continually haunt us. Because of the anxiety, depression, and remorse associated with such an experience we often avoid circumstances and situations which may precipitate a repeat of such an experience. In other words we become defensive in nature. Perhaps a failed relationship or a tragic experience can lead to this. It is in our human nature to take the path of least resistance and this form of countermeasure, although effective, has its own downside as well.
A lot of us tend to be "loners", preferring to be left alone going about our own business. Well, let me share with you two universal truths regarding loneliness;
1. NONE of us are ever truly alone.
2. Loneliness is NOT healthy.
Let me elaborate on these two points. None of us are ever truly alone. Whether we care to admit it or not, we are never really alone. Somewhere out there someone or a group of people associate themselves with you and that means relationships. Of course if you have other issues in question like communication gaps and issues of trust that is a different matter altogether. Resolution or closure of such issues can indeed broaden distances between two people and is , therefore, unhealthy. The other point is that we as human beings thrive on relationships for personal growth, maturity, emotional completeness, and character building. Without other people to complete our lives we are socially insecure, emotionally unstable, and lacking self-esteem. What's more is that loneliness can lead to depression and depression can lead to death.
So the question begins with HOW,but the first part of any problem starts with recognition and acceptance. Only when you have come to that point can healing be initiated( and without difficulty). I am not saying you should go out more, although that's not a bad suggestion in the sense, but I am hinting at making your present relationships richer. Relationships, you see, are like plants. They need to be taken care of and nurtured in order to grow healthily. So curing loneliness begins with this first step:
1. Make your relationships richer.
The next step has something to do with YOU. You must allow yourself some room to change, be open-minded, be patient, and, most importantly, be more loving. Know this other universal truth; There are many things in life we are not capable of changing, but those in which we have the power to change we can certainly improve upon. And that certainly does not exclude you. The second step to the HOW then is:
2. Reset your life by resetting yourself.
The third step to curing loneliness is rather difficult for most people. Difficult in the sense that they don't see this term in it's totality. Instead they see it in gradients or degrees of partiality. What am I talking about? FORGIVENESS. Is it so hard to forgive SOMEONE? Let me rephrase the question in a different light. Is it so hard to forgive YOURSELF? I want you to think long and hard on that one. Try to see how the question relates to your life, your relationships, your outlook, and almost everything else,really. You see, it all begins with recognizing the problem, accepting that there is indeed a problem, and for whatever mistakes or shortcomings thereof-forgiveness. Remember, the third step is:
3. Learn to be more forgiving.
Being alone or feeling lonely is not healthy. Not only do you harbor negativity and emotional instability you also prevent yourself from growing in all aspects. Don't close yourself out. Don't shut the door to the world. You are not simply going to fade away or become distant memory because this is real life, not poetry. With that we come to the last step in curing loneliness:
4. Be not afraid.
Fear is the one greatest thing which hampers almost everything in our lives. I can go on and on on how it affects us and destabilize and immobilize us but let us take it on the viewpoint of loneliness. We are alone because we are afraid to commit, we are afraid to make the first step to closure, we are afraid of taking risks, we are afraid of being hurt (again?), or we are afraid of failing. You get the picture. Life warrants necessary risks from time to time, you see. Learn to use your fears to your advantage. Use it as a leverage to becoming more cautious, more attentive, and more sensitive to your needs and other peoples as well. Never let it be a deterring factor in your life.
Until our next post, folks. You guys take care.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
A Time of Giving
What makes a person memorable, ever wondered about that? Is it their personality? Their status, perhaps? The way they engage conversations? Maybe so, but the truth is the people we remember the most are the ones who share a little of themselves, their time, their resources to those in dire need of a helping hand. Call it charity, if you will, but it simply is an act of love called kindness.
We go through life aiming for a gold standard. We want to belong and we want to feel that we are needed or we are someone important. Often times our only real competitor ( and conscience) is ourselves. And yet we hear about these individuals everyday, giving generously to the community, to charity, to a cause they believe in. "Giving back", is a loosely coined term which means sharing some of the blessings bestowed upon them. If you were, perhaps, a millionaire you would probably do the same.
My question to you is do you really need to be somebody famous, rich, or important to show a gesture of kindness and love to those in need? What about the millions of unsung heroes who unselfishly give whatever they can to those less fortunate than they? You certainly never hear about them. My point here is that we need to exercise humility and generosity in our lives. An old friend of mine who passed away a long time ago used to always tell me that a coffin has no pockets. He would rather die a poor man and be fondly remembered by those whose lives he touched than die a rich man nobody ever knew. That was the legacy he wanted to leave behind. He did.
We hoard materialistic possessions and we have become slaves of society and somewhere along the line it's becoming really difficult to be a good samaritan. The truth is we have become obsessed with beating deadlines, acquiring promotions, climbing that corporate ladder one rung at a time, or even just making ends meet with that nine-to-fiver minimum wage job, that our daily practices circumvent towards monotony. We have forgotten how to feel and be felt. That is why generosity sometimes reminds us that we have one other social obligation we have for so long neglected; to help a friend.
The time of giving is now. Don't always associate giving with money because a little of your time, a sound advice, a helping hand, even just a warm meal can mean the world to someone. If you were to leave a legacy behind leave one worth remembering over and over again. Practice kindness, be patient, be humble, be unselfish, be forgiving, be loving, and always believe in yourself. Until our next post,folks.
We go through life aiming for a gold standard. We want to belong and we want to feel that we are needed or we are someone important. Often times our only real competitor ( and conscience) is ourselves. And yet we hear about these individuals everyday, giving generously to the community, to charity, to a cause they believe in. "Giving back", is a loosely coined term which means sharing some of the blessings bestowed upon them. If you were, perhaps, a millionaire you would probably do the same.
My question to you is do you really need to be somebody famous, rich, or important to show a gesture of kindness and love to those in need? What about the millions of unsung heroes who unselfishly give whatever they can to those less fortunate than they? You certainly never hear about them. My point here is that we need to exercise humility and generosity in our lives. An old friend of mine who passed away a long time ago used to always tell me that a coffin has no pockets. He would rather die a poor man and be fondly remembered by those whose lives he touched than die a rich man nobody ever knew. That was the legacy he wanted to leave behind. He did.
We hoard materialistic possessions and we have become slaves of society and somewhere along the line it's becoming really difficult to be a good samaritan. The truth is we have become obsessed with beating deadlines, acquiring promotions, climbing that corporate ladder one rung at a time, or even just making ends meet with that nine-to-fiver minimum wage job, that our daily practices circumvent towards monotony. We have forgotten how to feel and be felt. That is why generosity sometimes reminds us that we have one other social obligation we have for so long neglected; to help a friend.
The time of giving is now. Don't always associate giving with money because a little of your time, a sound advice, a helping hand, even just a warm meal can mean the world to someone. If you were to leave a legacy behind leave one worth remembering over and over again. Practice kindness, be patient, be humble, be unselfish, be forgiving, be loving, and always believe in yourself. Until our next post,folks.
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