Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Letters from Nowhere


Sitting on the back of a rusty pick-up truck bound for the highway of life, a lone traveler stares into distant skies with tired eyes. Eyes weary of a long hard life of toil and with nothing to show for it but calloused hands. Unheeding of the howling wind blowing by his face or the promise of yet another storm, he sat there, hunched to his thoughts and unaware of his misery. He fumbles around to regain his composure after a sudden jolt brought about by an imperfection on the road, he came upon a crumpled piece of paper amongst the many litters of trash people just dump on the back of any old truck. To save himself from further gloom he began to read.
     “If there ever was a reason to make a life justifiable it would be for all the right reasons and not just for a sole reason, even if such an idea would seem noble, if not too overly. If there was ever a time to search for a meaning to anything such a time would be, for whatever reason earnest would  deem necessary, be wanting and in need of haste. Too many wonders to seek explanations for and too many questions needing any sort of explanation just to make their time worthwhile in posing.
      And yet here we are, wanting for a liberation from a prison we ourselves do not yet know or are afraid to face. Lost in a daze we scramble to define our existence, not with words or actions or even ideals, but with hopes and aspirations; dreams we are waiting to unfold before our eyes, yet we are paralyzed by the mere notion of their fruition or the taxing commitment they inherently require.
      And then there is our notion of time, or lack of it. Everything revolves around many aspects which define how we live our lives but the painful truth is nothing really revolves. Everything evolves. Time passes and we lose it. Everything changes over time, nothing is eternal. Everything is ethereal. In this wisp of a moment we come to the sad realization that as we die slowly each passing day, we have forgotten how it must have felt to live. To live for a moment’s respite, to live for someone you love, to live for an ideal, to draw strength from the vibrance of this thing called life and drench yourself with its longing; its unquenchable thirst; its energy.
      In silence we hope, and if we remember, we pray. We hold on. We hold on to anything with semblance to substance, to security, to permanence. Even if we had to lie to ourselves to believe, at least long enough  for some sense of resounding half-truths , no matter how falsely or unstately that notion may seem, just so we can put meaning to our actions and gratification to unheeded effort. And still, we come to the point in question…the beginning of something we do not yet know or want to know and the end to something we would rather not ponder upon. The truth is we simply have to learn to let go. To let ourselves dream and bask in the silence of unconditional existence; to not take more than we need and go back to simple living.
      When we filter out the noise hard enough and long enough we can finally listen to the one person we haven’t heard from in a long, long time. Ourself. ”
     “Hey, buddy! Your stop’s just ahead. Let’s get a move on, shall we. Looks like another long night of rain.”, cried the driver. With that our lone traveler hops out of the truck that served as his refuge, at least long enough for him to finally understand. Staring at the blackening sky one last time, and after a long sigh, he forges ahead and the night finally swallows him.
     He smiles knowing that somewhere in this world, under a starry  moonlit sky, a child dreams and Hope is renewed. And with Hope comes Chance; a chance to start all over again, to finally be free, to be alive.
     Unbeknownst to our lone traveler a pick-up driver parks by the roadside somewhere, writes another entry to his journal, tears it off for want of something better to write about, to feel about, to feel alive about, and throws a yet another piece of crumpled paper at the back of the pick-up bed, and heads out. A chance indeed.
        

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

A Tale of Possibility

You know you are getting old when you do more reminiscing when you should be paying attention to the present time. Yes,everyone wants to relive a very special time in their life that stirs warm memories of  years gone by. It's hard to forget the past because of it's significance in our lives. Of course we can do away with the unpleasentries and focus on life changing events which we fondly remember. If I were to ask any of you what your best years in life were your most likely answer is either during the time you met your first love or the independence brought about by your first car. If you really sit down and think about it these two epic moments in our lives signify all that is beautiful in youth. They represent our thirst for freedom and our quest for true love. And if you were to REALLY think about it, nothing epic has happened to you lately if you are approaching your middle years. Nothing grand can be said about work or mortgage and bills and even the kids' college tuition. Then you come to the sad realization that you need to recapture some of that magic or vitality back in order to try to make sense of getting old. Sounds familiar? Of course it does. Take a seat and join the club. 

How much possibility laid before you then and although you may not realize it, the same chances present themselves to you now. You do not have to be bound by circumstance or obligation to the point of helplessness. You have a choice to CHANGE all that is around you and recapture or relive all of your memories of what used to be good. It all depends on what you are willing to accept and change, and eventually give up. What I am trying to say is life doesn't have to begin at 40, or 18, or 21 or even 50. It begins NOW, this MOMENT. It's what you choose it to be. I don't understand why people continually live with their burdens and, in the process, make anxiety and stressful living a daily routine in their lives. You have to ask yourself if it is really worth it. More importantly, to whom does this suffering afford the greatest benefit to? Let me tell you a story about two little boys and before I get  into what this particular story entails, let me give it to you plain and simple- the lesson of this story is about Possibility. It's about Opportunity. It's about taking chances and living  by the "choices" we make. Note that we can easily interchange "choices" with "mistakes" in the previous statement.

So, here goes...

Once there lived two little boys on a seaside town in some unnamed country during an unnamed time. Of what year this event transpired is really of no importance, just that these two boys were dearest of friends. They shared many interests, these most unlikely of friends, and consequently, as boys often do, they have spent many a summer day just laying around a lone tree in a field overlooking the vast ocean just over the horizon. Let's call one of the boys Charles, and the other Richard. Charles came from a well to do family 
coming from a lineage of educated merchants and business professionals. Just like his father and kin before him, Charles has honed an eye towards skepticism, economy, opulence, and security. In other words, he is a realist in the very sense of the word. Richard, on the other hand, comes from a family of farmers. His fathers knurled hands is testament to the hardships they must continually face in order to survive. To Richard, halls of splendor or even dining on a long table lined with fine linens and silverware is a thing of the books, a world away. Richard would spend most of his days daydreaming about a better life. To him, any life must be better than the present one. It was because of this polarizing difference that made the two boys the best of friends. Richard would listen with eager ears and fervent eyes as Charles would narrate a recount of the dinners and parties held often at his family's manor, as if he was simply blurting out details of a stone he found, unfeeling and simply disinterested. This "good life" added more fuel to the poor boys daydreaming and wishing until he often found himself staring into empty space, imagining, and wondering, and hoping.

One fateful day they encountered an old graying man sitting under their meeting tree, fanning himself, desperately trying to ward off the miserable summer heat. Cautiously, they took their place in their favorite "spot" and Charles, being the bold one, asked this seemingly hermit-looking figure of a man, what he was doing sitting under their tree. 

"Why, I am simply resting these old bones, my lad. It seems being old does has its setbacks after all.", the old man answered coyly.

After several minutes of hasty introductions and some background inquisition on both ends, they settled into a leisurely pace of  telling stories amidst a number of fancier tales. It was after an hour or so when Henry, the name the old man gave to be his, asked Richard why he isn't sharing much and was simply contented being an avid listener.

" What's to tell about a poor boys life?" blurted Richard. 
"There isn't much to eat at our house. On some days we have to make do with reheated broth and molded bread.", he added further.

"Well, I am terribly sorry to hear that my boy." replied the graying Henry, with saddened eyes.

After a long silence Henry broke the veil with a question.

" Let's suppose for a minute that we forget about your way of living, the both of you. Let us start anew, a clean plate, if you will. Let me pose a question to the both of you and I want you to be honest with your answer. I want you to speak of what your heart tells you. Now, suppose I were to ask you that if you had a choice to start a new life what sort of life would you like to have and why?"

Another long silence, longer perhaps than the one it replaced.

" If I were to have a new life I want to have one like Charles. I don't ever want to sleep with a rumbling tummy ever again and I want to wear better clothes, not these worn rags tethered together by more rags. I want to be able to afford the things I only dreamed off and not just see them in pictures.", Richard said with much gusto.

"I want a life like Richard.", exclaimed Charles, much to his friends surprise. "I am tired of this life where everybody isn't real. They only want me to be their friend because of my family's wealth and they don't even appreciate the things I truly want. I want a simple life. I want a life where I can still taste the salt from the sweat falling from my brow after a hard days work."

"Well,well,and well. It seems the both of you don't talk much about this after all, judging from the way the both of you exude surprise. It seems you both want a better life than the one you lead but don't know HOW or WHERE to begin. Am I correct for assuming so?", Henry posed. "The answer to your problems is rather very simple, my lads. You have the power to harness the possibility in front of you and explore where your humility may take you. Charles, all you need is to share to the less fortunate, be the answer to their needs. Richard, all you need to do is strive to work for your dream. Make it a reality and not just a dream. Work hard, develop good work ethics, educate yourself, and make your fortune with your bare hands."

And yet another long silence broken by Henry's abrupt preparation to bid these two boys farewell. After disappearing into the distance, he left two boys behind wondering if what just transpired in indeed real. 
Under the setting sun, the two boys walked alongside each other deep in their own thoughts and lighter hearts. Tomorrow is indeed a chance to begin. A new life awaits.

When I first heard of this story it didn't hit me as rather life-changing. I thought it was bland and didn't quite get the picture in it's entirety. When viewed from a different angle, that of from an outsider's point of view, I began to understand it's depth. The power is indeed in the choices we make. We can choose to remain in this way of living,  or we can choose to rise above our struggles or conditions and strive for something better.  Until our next post, you guys take care. JowelMD signing off, but not signing out.