Your Daily Anger Management Therapy

There are really actually two things which cause us to act. There is a need which we cannot do without so we strive for it. That need may be something which brings us pleasure, a necessity, or even desire. Then again there is the other side of the equation which basically states that we act when we feel the presence of pain, that is we veer away or avoid factors in our life which can potentially bring pain and stress. How we express our content or discontent is, of course, by way of our emotions. An emotion we find ourselves dealing with most of the time is ANGER. Let's take a minute to think about why are we so angry, why we easily get angry, and why we end up hurting ourselves and other people as a result of our anger? Can anger be controlled? That is the question we should always keep in mind. We need to see our emotions of anger in a different light by stating, "being angry motivates us to take action!!". Anger is the only emotion which propels us into taking immediate action. Having said that, the actions we take are often wrong and negative because we fail to weigh other factors, or simply we do not listen. Being angry means being stressed and as with all of life's stressors, we must manage our anger in order to gain control of our lives. There are several things you can do to manage your anger on a personal level. I say personal because I'm assuming you may not yet have been to anger management therapy or anger management group sessions.If you are going to do this on your own you need to do it in stgaes. The first stage is Acceptance; you NEED to accept there is a problem with the way you manifest your anger. The second stage is Recognition; you NEED to recognize the many stressors or stimuli which infuriates you and makes you angry. The third stage is Avoidance; you NEED to avoid these stressors altogether. There are many ways to do this. By not putting any value to them or simply neglecting them can be one such way. The fourth stage is Diversion; you NEED to establish certain practices which diverts your attention away from anger.It is not always easy to do this but taking some lessons on stress management can help. Exercise is also a good, positive way to divert yourself from your anger. It is important to keep in mind, however, that Anger, in all its entirety, has a root cause. It is often best to seek the help of a therapist in uncovering, identifying , and dealing with these issues because given time they have a longstanding effect.Anger management programs offer the individual plenty of information regarding techniques and strategies for dealing with anger. Is there an anger management therapy available for those who feel the need to take their treatment a step further? In the early 1970's, a psychiatrist named Aaron T. Beck, M.D, developed an anger management therapy focusing on problem-solving. This therapy initially called Cognitive Therapy is now also known as Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy or CBT. Beck worked with patients for years using his psychiatric knowledge but was burdened to see his patient's treatment making only slow progress. Beck wanted to use a more intense approach to anger management therapy. Cognitive Therapy is a form of anger management therapy which helps a person to correct or change specific details in their thinking. These details, involving negative feelings, will likely lead to anger and cause behavioral problems. Beck realized that it is during the thinking process, negative thoughts are formed which lead to changes in emotions and behavior. If an individual could be treated at this stage, helping them to change their way of thinking, then they would see changes in their emotions and behavioral pattern. Using strategies and techniques such as relaxation training and assertiveness training, CBT has proven to be a relatively fast method of providing an individual with relief and allowing them to experience freedom through endurance. Cognitive Therapy has proven to be the most effective type of psychological treatment. Its popularity has spread worldwide and is used by many qualified professionals to treat individuals with behavioral difficulties such as anger. Literature about CBT is widely available and there is training in CBT provided for professionals. Many people who suffer with anger-related issues avoid therapy. Some think they don't need it and others see it as a sign of weakness. The opposite can actually be said of an individual who seeks anger management therapy. They are strong and determined, willing to take whatever measures necessary to make positive changes in their life. When a person gets to the point where they can admit they need anger management therapy, it is essential to find a therapist who makes them feel comfortable. It is important to be able to communicate easily with a therapist since this is the person who will help reshape the individual's life. Building a trusting relationship with their therapist is vital when an individual is committed to therapy, no matter how long it takes. Being able to share emotions, whether good or bad, is important in anger management therapy. It is through sharing and trusting that a person begins to discover things about themselves. Once these discoveries are revealed, an individual will begin to work on making changes in their thoughts and emotions which will lead to positive changes in their lives. Anger management therapy may seem tough initially but with a trusting therapist, an individual will certainly make progress. This relationship between the individual and their therapist provides a safety zone, a place where they can feel free to disclose their innermost thoughts and inhibitions. Exploring underlying feelings of these thoughts will eventually provide the tools necessary for success. Anger management therapy, either CBT or meeting regularly with a therapist, is definitely beneficial for people striving to work through anger-related issues. Choosing anger management therapy is a big step and requires the support and encouragement from family and friends.

Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

Do you know why most of us do not succeed in most of what we try to do? Is it lack of effort? A plan gone awry even with the best intentions, perhaps? Well, maybe. But know this, the main reason why we fail is because of our lack of BELIEVING in ourselves. We essentially hold ourselves back. What's holding us back? Fear and lack of self-esteem.

Look at yourself at the mirror and speak out loud of what you see. Do you really see yourself or a shadow of what you aspire to be? You are unique and special because there is no other like yourself. That can be good and bad you say but that is the plain old truth of it all. You lack the will and determination of pushing through your aspirations and endeavors for fear of two things, actually; failing and rejection. What do the most successful individuals in their respective fields have in common? They have failed so many times. They saw their failures as stepping stones or learning curves and they were not afraid to fail nor did they remain fallen for long.

Be proud of who you are. DO NOT MEASURE YOURSELF BY SOMEBODY ELSE'S STANDARDS. As long as you are happy the way you are there is absolutely no reason for you to change for anybody. Remember that acceptance is the first step to loving so if you feel that you don't exactly 'fit in', it's because you haven't yet met the crowd where you belong. Don't get me wrong here. Individuality has nothing to do with it. It's just that most people feel they need to belong to the 'in crowd' in order to be somebody and that is absolutely B.S. The only standards you need to live by are your own. Let me repeat that in case you haven't really absorbed what I just said; THE ONLY STANDARDS YOU NEED TO LIVE BY ARE YOUR OWN.

Well, as usual, here are some tips on overcoming low self-esteem;

1. Socialize more. When you have reached your level of comfort zone in interacting with other people you will eventually overcome your weaknesses.

2. Dress to impress but do not overdress. Don't look like you just got out of the sofa when you go out. Look the part and you will get noticed.

3. Maintain collectiveness and reservations in social gatherings. Don't talk too much or you'll be labeled as the 'insecure' one and are desperately vying for anyone and everyone's attention.

4. Speak with confidence. Don't mumble or stutter either. Choose your words carefully and speak plainly.

5. Learn to control your fears. There is no harm in trying. the greatest damage is knowing you can do it but really never had the guts to even begin. Don't let your apprehension hold you back. The world is out there and you need to be a part of it.

6. Give yourself enough credit. Commend yourself on deeds well done. Boosting your self- confidence will elevate your self-esteem.

7. Learn to relax. Nothing is as hard as what you make it out to be. It's all in your head. Think power thoughts and positive thoughts and positive energy will flow through you.

8. Stay away from negative people. Negativity only breeds negativity.

9. Do not stereotype other people because unknowingly you are simply comparing them to yourself.

10. Lastly, smile often. happy people are contented people. Set your goals and aim high but know this- sometimes in order to succeed you need to fall a couple of times. It's just life.

Well, I hope this helped you guys. I was once insecure and had a low self-esteem. If only I could only lock myself from the world. Boy was I wrong. Totally wrong. you don't want to spend the rest of your life running down through your "if only..." list, now do you? Until our next post. You guys take care.