The Ties that Bind

On my last post I cited some key fundamental questions you should make the habit of asking every once in a while. These questions serve to uncover the direction in which your life is heading towards. A very interesting notion is that most people don't realize that no matter what walks of life we ascend from, or whatever cultural background we may have been brought up in, our essential needs are basically the same. The things that make us cry or laugh, the simple gestures which puts a smile in our face or sadness in our hearts are basically the same. What am I getting at here? My point is we aren't THAT different from each other. There are several essential ties that bind us all besides human emotions and needs. One of these is our desire to improve upon ourselves and make the quality of our lives inherently better than, say, yesterday. So you see we have it in us to forge ahead!!! We have it in us to overcome any and all obstacles ahead. More importantly we have it in us to CHANGE.
So why is it so hard for us to change some aspects of our lives like our relationships, our diets, our lifestyle, our habits, whatever? It is because CHANGE IS DIFFERENT. Most people can't empower themselves enough to commit to doing something different even though they know in their heart of hearts that it is what they must do. There are essentially two reasons why this first hurdle is the hardest to overcome and why most people never get past this first crucial step.
We will talk about each of these one at a time so we can really digress their effects on our lives. Ready? Ok......
The first reason why we are unwilling to change is because WE ARE AFRAID. There are actually many factors why we are afraid to commit ourselves towards lasting personal change but the most important of these is we are afraid to leave our comfort zones and we are afraid of failing. It is easier for most people to NOT DO ANYTHING at all, to leave things as they are, rather than take that leap of faith to change the quality of their lives. Let me give you an example....Say you are 20-30 pounds overweight. You have been trying to lose those extra pounds all these years and you may have succeeded to lose 5 or 10 but end up gaining 7 or 12 back. You kept on trying still, buying fat burning exercise machines from infomercials and like before you end up gaining back what you lost. Then the kids came, car payments, house payments, a promotion, and everything else. Then several years down the road you realize that you have RESIGNED yourself to this stately condition and every time you see a slimmer person wearing that blouse or shirt you've always wanted and known you'd look good in...if only you were slimmer.How would that make you feel? Believe me, I know how that feels because I felt miserable. Fear can be constructive because it can teach you to be cautious and wary. Use your fear constructively. Don't be afraid to take that first step and commit because you are never alone!! Take comfort in the fact that someone, somewhere in this world is in the same dilemma as you are and is also contemplating in taking that first step, and is also afraid. Remember that you have a choice. Remember also that not doing anything is in itself also a choice. If you fail get up, dust yourself off, take a deep breath, and start over...until you get it right. THAT IS LIFE.
Say to yourself, every time you fall, these empowering words;

" I AM BETTER THAN THIS"

"HERE WE ARE AGAIN. LET'S GET IT RIGHT THIS TIME SO WE WON'T HAVE TO GO BACK."

"YOU CAN DO THIS!! NO ONE IS GOING TO DO THIS FOR YOU BUT YOU!!"

" I WILL DO THIS...NOW."

" IF NOT TODAY, THEN WHEN STILL?"

On our next post we will cover the next reason why we are unwilling to change. For now, think about what we have covered so far and apply it in the context of your own life. We have much ground to cover still...but the road ahead is long, and today we are weary...so let us take a moment of rest. Until then...