How to ask a girl out

There comes a time in the life of every young man when the opposite sex becomes interesting. High school and college were indeed the days, don't you agree? Well, anyhow, this post is about how to approach the opposite sex ( not the same as asking a girl out to a date but it CAN certainly lead to that).

So let's say you are in your teens and is dying to talk to a girl you have had a long-time crush in. You are being teased by your friends as an instant failure should you even dare to approach the said girl. So there you are, practically a nervous wreck shacking in the knees every time she walks past you in the hallway after homeroom. Day in and day out you live in this fantasy of actually asking her out to a date. Sounds familiar? Well, truth be told that was how I was in high school. I was one of the "geeks" and no girl on her right mind would date a geek let alone be caught talking to one.

Well, all that changed when I learned how to finally ask a girl out. Here's some pointer's for you youngbucks;

1. Look your best and try to stay abreast with today's fashion statements. Nothing gets you more noticed than the way you look.

2. Get a haircut. If you are called "johnny 4-eyes" in your school consider wearing contacts.

3. Talk to her friends and get a general idea of what her preferences are or what she looks for in a guy. If you ask nicely you'll get truthful answers.

4. Behave accordingly. Don't do anything stupid or foolish to make her want to look the other way. Being cool doesn't mean being stupid.

5. Be yourself. Don't be "another" person just to blend in or gain attention. Nothing beats being genuine and true.

6. Make the first move. Approach her casually and don't rehearse your lines and end up saying something foolish or out of the blue ( exposing your nervousness). Try to look for something different or unique about her and comment on that. That usually breaks the ice. Don't resort to what I used to do ( slipping notes in her locker). It's always best to be direct.

7. Let her know you appreciate her and don't drop the bombs on flattery too much because you certainly would be overdoing it.

8. Ask her what her interests are but know them beforehand from her friends. That way you can comment wisely or may even have a common interest with her.

9. Make your first date memorable and special. Set the mood and find a special place. You don't have to be lavish, just a quiet place to talk and get to know each other better.

The funny thing about this post is that it's not what I normally write about in this blog. I read an article the other day about dating and it occurred to me that kids these days are way too liberal. There's a right and proper way to get to know someone and I may be old-school but I think it still starts on trust. It takes time to gain someone's trust. Well, I hope this helps all you young bloods out there. Oh yeah, one more thing, on your first date, don't wear your dad's cologne. Until the next post. take care y'all.

Why we need to Connect

I was sitting on a bench one day, overlooking the Cove in La Jolla and I saw something rather interesting. A couple, probably in their mid 40's, walked by and they were arguing about something. I didn't really hear what the argument was about but what was interesting is either was listening to the other. They continually drove at their points not even considering what the other was saying or even want to, I think. Needless to say tensions rose and, obviously, they didn't look happy. In their case it wasn't miscommunication or lack of communication that ruined their moment ( hey, it was a gorgeous San Diego day that day), but rather, it was the refusal to communicate, to connect.

A healthy relationship fulfills a fundamental human need. How we relate or bond to family members, your spouse, your friends, your office mates, pretty much defines you. It is the social interaction that you partake in on a day to day basis which builds relationships. Why is it then that some people are just difficult to get along with, talk to, or even approach? Such difficulties can put strains in relationships and causing tensions eventually leading to gaps.

We need to connect with people. We need to build relationships, build on them, and nurture them. It is how connected we are that allows us to grow in many aspects. Being connected also defines how we see and respond to the world we live in. It is a fundamental need. How then do we establish healthy relationships in any given setting? Here are some helpful pointers:

1. Have an open mind. Remove all stereotypical notions you may be having. Don't be too judgmental and jump to conclusions.

2. Learn to break the ice. Sometimes when you start things going they open up to you.

3. Give people credit where credit is due. Let them know you appreciate them and what they do.

4. Give a little of yourself. Unselfish acts speaks volumes of your character.

5. Say what you mean and mean what you say. That way nothing is ever lost in translation or transition.

6. Learn to carry positive thoughts. Do away with ALL negativity. Your thoughts reflect your actions and your actions reflect the energies you emit. Positive thoughts harbor positive energy and positive energy nurtures relationships.

7. Learn to be patient with people. Allow them time to understand the points you tell them, don't drive it home to them.

8. Be more understanding and sensitive to other people's needs. Let them know you understand them and respect their differences and sensitivities. You will gain their trust in return.

9. Nurture your relationships. Make time for one another. Don't let the hubbub of everyday life deter you in having healthy relationships.

10. Love is everything. It is the key. Think about this one.

We need to connect because we need to grow. We need to feel wanted and that we feel like we belong. Without healthy relationships feeling remorse and alone is not healthy. Remember that depression has profound effects on your health. So take note of the list above and think about how you can improve upon your "connectivity" with pthers. Until the next post, you guys take care.