Why we need to Connect

I was sitting on a bench one day, overlooking the Cove in La Jolla and I saw something rather interesting. A couple, probably in their mid 40's, walked by and they were arguing about something. I didn't really hear what the argument was about but what was interesting is either was listening to the other. They continually drove at their points not even considering what the other was saying or even want to, I think. Needless to say tensions rose and, obviously, they didn't look happy. In their case it wasn't miscommunication or lack of communication that ruined their moment ( hey, it was a gorgeous San Diego day that day), but rather, it was the refusal to communicate, to connect.

A healthy relationship fulfills a fundamental human need. How we relate or bond to family members, your spouse, your friends, your office mates, pretty much defines you. It is the social interaction that you partake in on a day to day basis which builds relationships. Why is it then that some people are just difficult to get along with, talk to, or even approach? Such difficulties can put strains in relationships and causing tensions eventually leading to gaps.

We need to connect with people. We need to build relationships, build on them, and nurture them. It is how connected we are that allows us to grow in many aspects. Being connected also defines how we see and respond to the world we live in. It is a fundamental need. How then do we establish healthy relationships in any given setting? Here are some helpful pointers:

1. Have an open mind. Remove all stereotypical notions you may be having. Don't be too judgmental and jump to conclusions.

2. Learn to break the ice. Sometimes when you start things going they open up to you.

3. Give people credit where credit is due. Let them know you appreciate them and what they do.

4. Give a little of yourself. Unselfish acts speaks volumes of your character.

5. Say what you mean and mean what you say. That way nothing is ever lost in translation or transition.

6. Learn to carry positive thoughts. Do away with ALL negativity. Your thoughts reflect your actions and your actions reflect the energies you emit. Positive thoughts harbor positive energy and positive energy nurtures relationships.

7. Learn to be patient with people. Allow them time to understand the points you tell them, don't drive it home to them.

8. Be more understanding and sensitive to other people's needs. Let them know you understand them and respect their differences and sensitivities. You will gain their trust in return.

9. Nurture your relationships. Make time for one another. Don't let the hubbub of everyday life deter you in having healthy relationships.

10. Love is everything. It is the key. Think about this one.

We need to connect because we need to grow. We need to feel wanted and that we feel like we belong. Without healthy relationships feeling remorse and alone is not healthy. Remember that depression has profound effects on your health. So take note of the list above and think about how you can improve upon your "connectivity" with pthers. Until the next post, you guys take care.