How To Cure Loneliness

Can you recognize symptoms of loneliness? Can you outrightly pick out behavioral changes brought about or due to loneliness? Well, being alone is no fun that's for sure but what's important to unravel is why people are alone, or more importantly, why do they make the conscious decision to BE alone.

A lot of times in our lives we experience pain that continually haunt us. Because of the anxiety, depression, and remorse associated with such an experience we often avoid circumstances and situations which may precipitate a repeat of such an experience. In other words we become defensive in nature. Perhaps a failed relationship or a tragic experience can lead to this. It is in our human nature to take the path of least resistance and this form of countermeasure, although effective, has its own downside as well.

A lot of us tend to be "loners", preferring to be left alone going about our own business. Well, let me share with you two universal truths regarding loneliness;

1. NONE of us are ever truly alone.

2. Loneliness is NOT healthy.

Let me elaborate on these two points. None of us are ever truly alone. Whether we care to admit it or not, we are never really alone. Somewhere out there someone or a group of people associate themselves with you and that means relationships. Of course if you have other issues in question like communication gaps and issues of trust that is a different matter altogether. Resolution or closure of such issues can indeed broaden distances between two people and is , therefore, unhealthy. The other point is that we as human beings thrive on relationships for personal growth, maturity, emotional completeness, and character building. Without other people to complete our lives we are socially insecure, emotionally unstable, and lacking self-esteem. What's more is that loneliness can lead to depression and depression can lead to death.

So the question begins with HOW,but the first part of any problem starts with recognition and acceptance. Only when you have come to that point can healing be initiated( and without difficulty). I am not saying you should go out more, although that's not a bad suggestion in the sense, but I am hinting at making your present relationships richer. Relationships, you see, are like plants. They need to be taken care of and nurtured in order to grow healthily. So curing loneliness begins with this first step:

1. Make your relationships richer.

The next step has something to do with YOU. You must allow yourself some room to change, be open-minded, be patient, and, most importantly, be more loving. Know this other universal truth; There are many things in life we are not capable of changing, but those in which we have the power to change we can certainly improve upon. And that certainly does not exclude you. The second step to the HOW then is:

2. Reset your life by resetting yourself.

The third step to curing loneliness is rather difficult for most people. Difficult in the sense that they don't see this term in it's totality. Instead they see it in gradients or degrees of partiality. What am I talking about? FORGIVENESS. Is it so hard to forgive SOMEONE? Let me rephrase the question in a different light. Is it so hard to forgive YOURSELF? I want you to think long and hard on that one. Try to see how the question relates to your life, your relationships, your outlook, and almost everything else,really. You see, it all begins with recognizing the problem, accepting that there is indeed a problem, and for whatever mistakes or shortcomings thereof-forgiveness. Remember, the third step is:

3. Learn to be more forgiving.

Being alone or feeling lonely is not healthy. Not only do you harbor negativity and emotional instability you also prevent yourself from growing in all aspects. Don't close yourself out. Don't shut the door to the world. You are not simply going to fade away or become distant memory because this is real life, not poetry. With that we come to the last step in curing loneliness:

4. Be not afraid.

Fear is the one greatest thing which hampers almost everything in our lives. I can go on and on on how it affects us and destabilize and immobilize us but let us take it on the viewpoint of loneliness. We are alone because we are afraid to commit, we are afraid to make the first step to closure, we are afraid of taking risks, we are afraid of being hurt (again?), or we are afraid of failing. You get the picture. Life warrants necessary risks from time to time, you see. Learn to use your fears to your advantage. Use it as a leverage to becoming more cautious, more attentive, and more sensitive to your needs and other peoples as well. Never let it be a deterring factor in your life.

Until our next post, folks. You guys take care.