Dealing with Failure

We all fail. That's a fact of life. Even in the face of our best laid plans, the notion that there is still a possibility that things will go wrong looms over us. Life may still want to throw us a curve ball on some idle Tuesday and we are left groping for answers. Answers and options. You ever wonder what the most successful individuals have in common in their respective fields of discipline? They have failed more times than they care to remember. Do you find it hard to believe that failing is sometimes a necessary learning curve in order to succeed? It's true. Some of life's lessons we can only learn if and when we fall. They wouldn't have as much value or impact to you if they weren't presented this way. The question then isn't so much about our failures but how we take those failures and apply what we have learned in order to succeed.

If there is one thing we have to remember it is this; we will always experience one failure or another in our lives. We aren't made to be perfect and that statement in and of itself basically means we are flawed. But I want you to see the word failure in a different light. I don't want you to adhere to the negativity associated with it. Rather, try to remember that it simply is the way of life; we fail, we get up, we dust ourselves off, then we take that first step and go on, ahead always ahead. I know this sounds like an overwhelming crusade towards positivity but the truth is successful individuals don't stay down for very long. They don't even think about how and why they failed. Practice has instilled upon them almost a second nature desire to just get up, try something new, and keep going. As I have said before, attitude, it's all attitude.

But let's take real world applications here. Let's talk of a scenario whereby, for instance, you failed miserably in something and it is this ONE THING that will really make it or break it for you. How would you deal with it? Do you:

1. Hide from the world in general, feeling remorseful and shameful?
2. Harbor feelings of regret and blame other people for their lack of support or inattentiveness to your cause?
3. Feel depressed?
4. Fell anger, frustration, and be closed minded?

Let's face it, folks. We all felt like that. I fact we probably felt like ALL of that. Notice that the list above all harbor negativity and doesn't really do much to our outlook. I need you to focus on this next statement; SEE FAILURE AS A WINDOW TOWARDS NEW CHOICES, NEW DECISIONS. Gauge the effort needed to make that one final step in order to succeed. LEARN from your experience and APPLY what you have learned. That is being productive AND effective. Remember that no one will do it for you, you must do it alone and there is no sweeter victory. Let me repeat that; There is no sweeter victory. Overcoming your weaknesses and changing your weaknesses to strengths is what winning is about in life. If and when you fail, deal with it and leave it behind you. Focus your energies on what needs to be done still or if a different approach is necessary then by all means take it. Don't let the pain of failure consume you. You are better than that so there really is nothing much to prove. Just forge ahead and do what you do best.

Dealing with failure is never easy. When we commit ourselves, our resources, our time, and our energies to a cause for a long time, it WILL HURT when things go wrong. Learn to pick up the pieces and move on. Give yourself time to heal and find areas of positive diversion. Gather your marbles and plan again. Recovery takes 2 phases; First is Realization and Acceptance, Second is Consolidation and Convergence. Dissect where you had gone wrong and accept. Gather or consolidate your resources and formulate your new strategy and converge on it, use every arsenal at your disposal. Remember to focus and not to lose determination. I know we all know what the 3 D's are when we strive towards a goal ( my junior high softball coach in PE back in the day used to yell "3D,3D,3D!!", in our ears till we got sick of Desire, Determination, and Discipline, but hey, it worked!).

Lastly, don't be afraid. You are never alone. A lot of people out there had it worse than you and they are still up and about trying to make it work, striving still to succeed. So my question to you now is,"why can't you?". Until our next post...do take care and keep on striving. No effort goes unwasted, only results, and even then we can still learn. Think positive, be positive, and do positive. Thanks again for your time.