When Your Kids Lie

There is no greater pain and frustration for any parent than when they see their kids start to LIE. Evey parent knows this. When your kids lie you begin to ask yourself where you've gone wrong or that what it is about you that makes your child rather not say the truth and, instead,lie. There are many factors involved and the usual reason is the child wanted to escape scolding, a bit of tongue lashing, perhaps, or even punishment. I don't know about you but my view in the matter is parent's should not punish their children. A healthy relationship between parent and child is based on trust. Trust is only gained when they communicate openly and honestly.

I remember as a child I lied to my parents on several occasion to avoid being grounded or punished. It is only now do I realize, now that I too am a parent, that even parents aren't perfect. We want so much to do what's best for our children that we unknowingly overdo it at times. We have to give our children some room to breathe and grow, to be able to make their own decision, and see for themselves what life is really like out there. When we talk to our children they become more comfortable in disclosing sensitive issues which they would rather hide than talk about. Some pointers to keep in mind are:

1. Encourage your children but LET THEM decide.

2. Give them some room for personal growth. Let them mingle with their peers.

3. When you say something say it like you MEAN IT and when you say you are going to do something, DO IT. Don't make excuses because that's the first step in creating a distance between you and your child.

4. Learn to TRUST your child. Let him or her feel that you too are thriving on this bond.

5. Interfere only when you have to. Let them come to you if they seek advice or help but reassure them that you are there for them.

6. Find things that you enjoy together and make it a point to do them regardless of your schedule or commitments.

7. Remember that your child is your legacy and he or she will carry on to their children what you have taught.

Parenting is a learn-as-you-go experience. No matter what advice is bestowed on you if you are a new parent you know that nothing really compares to being one day in and day out. Good parenting is also about learning. As a parent we need to be flexible and open-minded. It really hurts when your kids start to lie and the only way to break the habit is to explain to them at the level they can understand that you were hurt. Try to undermine the reason why they needed to lie and address this. Never leave this out in the open because lying can become habitual. Let them know and feel that you are there for them and no matter how they do wrong you will always love them. I always say being a parent is an adventure. The sleepless nights having to change diapers or warm milk bottles gave way to screaming, running little preschoolers and having to look for almost anything from the tv remote to your shoes. It is fun and everyday something new always comes up. So you parents out there, cherish every moment because your kids will only be young once. Next thing you know you are paying for college tuition and dealing with boyfriends or girlfriends . Ahh, parenting indeed.